Believe it or not, I feel as though we are in a season of quiet times in this household of five.

There is so much to be thankful for, so far in this year of 2021.

Reflecting, I can remember how my boys were thieves and stealing my credit card information from my purse, multiple times, and deny it every time. I would lock my bedroom door, replacing door handles, with special locks, and they would break and enter, to get that precious credit card number.

I would be woken in the middle of the night, with a text or phone call from the bank, with a recording, stating you have fraudulent activity on your debit card. We have deactivated it. Contact our customer service team immediately.

I remember the boy constantly sneaking in my closet to find the sweet treats that I would hide, because they were taking them from the pantry, and hiding their wrappers under the couches and between cushions.

Autumn had more of a sassy attitude last year, about this time. It was rough working through her emotions. She was defiant, refusing to listen or obey, or even get out of her bed when it was time to get up for the day. We had our struggles, and I’m glad we survived that!

Overall, I am able to breathe and feel more at ease in our current times.

The kids seem to be more relaxed too.

With activities being limited outside the home, we are finding ways to enjoy being home more and more. I used to love being on the go, but now I cannot wait to get home and relax. Weekends at home are my favorite.

After my grandmother passed away, I decided to spend some of my inheritance on investing in some soft, white, cozy couches and oversized chair with ottoman. This is where I sit and reflect on memories I will treasure forever of her, and her love for her family. She was my calm. She loved unconditionally, never showed anger, or stress towards others. It is my goal, to have at least half of her qualities.. I’ll never be as amazing as she was, but I plan on relishing the moments more, with the kids while I have them here close to me. This space helps create that mood, and I intend on keeping it that way.

I’m still working on making this “home” our “home,” and I’m getting pretty close to being finished. I ordered black granite countertops for both the kitchen & bar area, so very excited about that project over the next month.

The kids are doing mostly well, Allie is still struggling with school, but teachers and staff are amazing and working with her through things. She is going to a psychiatrist, and started medication for her to cope with the anxiety and depression she’s experiencing. I hope it passes, but it’s one day at a time, and I’m her 100% support through this process.

Overall, quiet times are good. Being home is good. Peace is good.

I just wish our country could find a way to come together too.

Peace…

My headline is for all those hoping 2021 is very different than 2020.

So far, we have experienced some far worse things than we did in the previous year.

But, we’re still going strong, hoping for a better future, still.

Today was the Inauguration of President Joe Biden & Vice President Kamala Harris.

History was made. It was a nice, calm service. Very classy. I was impressed, felt refreshed, relaxed, calm, and at ease.

I really hope that we have a good 2021. The chaos of riots, racism, the divided parties, anger, hostility, can all be put aside now.

We have who we have as a leader of our country, and that is that.

Let’s move on.

In the meantime, in suburbia, where I live, I am dealing with so much. My problems are nothing compared to so many others, but it’s a stress just the same.

I have a high schooler who is unable to complete her daily classwork, even being at home, doing it virtually. She has high anxiety and depression. We are working closely with a psychiatrist and counselor to help identify the best medication to get her functioning again, in regular daily life. This has been such a heartbreaking experience for me, watching her go through this. She wants nothing from me. I cannot talk to her, hug her, express my concern, or get any emotion out of her. This is just the beginning. We have a long road ahead to get her where she needs to be, but I’m not giving up. That is not an option for a caring parent. I cry for her at night. I stress and pray diligently for her. She doesn’t sleep, appetite comes and goes, anxiety is through the roof, and she’s not getting any relief on medications we’re trial testing. We go for our first follow up appointment tomorrow, so hopefully, we will get more insight if this is normal at this stage, and we need to give it more time, or what.

In regards to one of my boys, I am still finding small pieces of random poo around the house. I hate this! I constantly say, we don’t have any animals, so this should not be a thing!! It is gross, and both of them deny it, blaming the other. I’m so over it!

Autumn has braces, but she is not interested in brushing her teeth properly. She even says she doesn’t care if there are stains on her teeth from where the braces were on each tooth! I cannot for the life of me, understand that..

Then, there’s the whole FOOD dilemma. I love to cook and bake. The kids love sugar and all things carbs.. I told them we are going to do a reset of foods in our house, starting Monday next week. Austin says oh no way! That’s not happening. I say oh yes it is! Who is in charge here? ha

So, cheers to new things..

Keeping my head up, although it’s taking a toll on this mom right here..

We’re winding down the year, gearing up for the new one.

We are all in high hopes of great things for 2021. The phrases below are just so overly used, and exhausting us all.

Social Distance, Unprecedented times, masks, limiting groups to 10 or less, isolation, quarantine, covid testing, vaccination, election, exposed, sanitize, gloves, travel ban, and I could go on and on..

But, let’s wrap this year up in style.

We are having a “KID” New Year’s Eve party this year, and we’re going to have a bonfire! It’s going to be EPIC!

I have my 4 kids, plus 3 nieces/nephews coming over and staying the night. We are prepared with all their favorite snacks & drinks, and we’re going to play games, and live it up.

Enjoying time together, relaxing, making memories, and toasting to 2021!!!

This year has been a whirlwind of crazy, everyone can agree.

I have experienced so many positives in our world of negative.

I just have to express tremendous gratitude for my family, as they are the village that keeps this mom going.

working at home has been wonderful, and I am going to miss it, but cherish all those moments of being able to be home with my kids.

Starting back in the office on Monday!! Crazy how that time has come around already.

The kids have been throwing challenges at me, but we got through most of them, and together, we truly are better.

It’s just awesome to have the space we have to live, the job I have, the benefits of that job, and being able to do many things, even through these “dark days.”

Bring on 2021, we’re ready for you!!

Christmas Eve, Eve is here. The kids are away at their dad’s for a full week!

I have had plenty to keep me busy, just the same.

They will have Christmas with their dad, and then I pick them up the day after Christmas.

It’s been quite a year to say the least.

I chose to get each kid one nice gift, and fill their stockings with candy, and an envelope containing a crisp, new, $50 bill. I always treasured that my grandparents would give me one nice gift, and then cash in a lovely Christmas card. It was very dear to me. It’s not about the money, but the thought of them putting that amount aside, just for me. It felt really special. So, I want to continue that tradition for them, as they look forward to something more meaningful than just another cheap stocking stuffer, that they will toss to the side, or lose.

Our house is fully decorated in Christmas this year. I had the kids help me with everything. It’s my favorite time of year, and wish we could keep these decorations up all year long. But, then it wouldn’t be as special. So, I am cherishing every second of this season of life, and filling my cup with the joy this time of year brings.

This week has flown by, but I am enjoying the quiet. The kids are having fun at their dad’s, I know.

Soon, they will be back with me, and we will get back into the groove of things. But, for now, I’m enjoying listening to the Christmas music, making treats, practicing with meringue powder and attempting to make and decorate with royal icing, making toffee and peanut brittle.

I plan on enjoying quiet moments with my mom, which we have already, with shopping, and baking, but again on Christmas. Also, planning a morning coffee date with my dad on Christmas Eve.

Surrounding myself with the warmth of all things Christmas, is where it’s at for me.

Celebrating 2020, but looking forward to a brighter 2021.

It’s hard to keep up with how swiftly things have picked up around here, and still manage to remain in a calm state of mind.

The kids have quite the list of activities outside of school, between the 4.

One is going through several medical appointments, trying to determine what the root cause of the issues she’s experiencing. I would say that December 2020, has the most doctor visits on record by far, in our lives. We have a total of 8 doctor appointments this month alone. It’s hard to keep up with who needs to be where, but if I didn’t have it written down, we would be in a mess of trouble.

There are 3 kids now involved with the Big Brother Big Sister program, and so they have outings once to twice a month also.. EACH… so, keeping that straight is also a matter of writing it down on the books, or it could be forgotten.

Then, we have the holiday cheery type of events, which mostly include virtual, at home, so we can relax a bit on those. If we miss one, it’s ok.. 🙂

We also have family activities, like this weekend, will be our family holiday baking time. Christmas cookies, holiday breads, and treats.

The kids are still off of their computers, but I have given them some time to play the Nintendo Wi, and they seem to be enjoying that. It’s limited, and when they get their computers back, it will also be limited. I am trying to teach them about balance, and responsibilities are first. We’ll see if anything stuck during this period of a break / reset.

They are hoping to get their computers back by Dec 18th.. I told them it depends on THEM.. I’m keeping their hopes up, and we will see how it goes down, as we get closer.

We have ups and downs, I still get stressed easily, and I’m trying to do better everyday.

Having the house decorated for Christmas sure helps with the mood, and boosts the happiness vibes, at least for me.

Feeling better about our daily routine, just hoping it continues.

Stress is no fun, and one of my goals for 2021, is to be more FUN!

It all started when I took electronics away… ha. maybe it started before that…

Either way, I have lost my sanity somewhere along the way, and it’s time to get it back.

The kids have been dealing without electronics (their computers to play video games) for about 1 1/2 weeks now.

They have been absolutely miserable, and they don’t hesitate to let me know.

I have been told I am the worst mom ever, they hate me, they won’t ever get over their addictions, they love video games so much, they won’t do chores ever again, they won’t hug or cuddle with me ever again, no kisses for me, they won’t do anything for me ever again.. you name it, they said it.

I have been beat down, and it hurts. The anger has risen out of me, intensely so. The kids have been bickering more, their anger levels increased also, and we are just much more intense here.

This is not how I wanted our “reset” period to go at all.

In my mind, we would be playing board games together, having hot chocolate, making popcorn, watching a movie all together, going for walks outside, they would play with their legos nicely together, they would draw, willingly make their Christmas Wish Lists, etc.

I even put together a list of 5 things that I wanted to get across to the children during this time.

1. Be thankful
2. Be respectful
3. Be kind
4. Be helpful
5. Family togetherness

But, this has not been the case, at least not to my expectations.

I even lowered the expectations, and will take some of the 5 things in pieces. I take 5 minutes out of their time, and ask them to write down one thing they are thankful for.. What I get is, “electronics that I can’t play with” or “I’ll never tell you because you took my computer away.”

I have had some great board game play with Adam and Austin this week. It was precious. I think Adam is really good at playing Monopoly, Uno and Battleship. He doesn’t lose interest, and he’s great at math. One time, I even multi-tasked and played Uno with Autumn, while playing Battleship with Adam.

Austin seems to like Battleship, but not much into game playing. He would rather talk to me about everything and anything, while I’m playing a game with the other two.

Allie has kept to herself. She hasn’t been feeling well, so just trying to engage her as I can.

So, fun times here…

Trying to make the best of everything..

Happy Turkey Day!!!

The kids have no idea what goes on inside my head throughout the day. Millions and millions of thoughts, about this or that, are CONSTANTLY going around inside this brain of mine.

It seems to never shut off.

I have multi tasking duties, kids talking to me at the same time, complaining about this or that, telling me they need this or that, and asking little questions that I don’t always know the answer to.

I sometimes feel like there are many cobwebs inside my brain, and things get all jumbled up in a web. I cannot figure out how to decipher what is priority, and then something might cause me to snap, because I have lost control of the “things” going on around me.

For example in the mornings, I have school on my mind; making sure I take temperatures each morning, check the list of symptoms, to ensure that none of my kids have them. I have one child who needs to take medication for her recent in-grown toenail surgery. I have another who needs her Vitamin D tablet daily. Then, there the vitamins for everyone. Lunches to make, while I make sure the kids eat their breakfast. Run downstairs to make sure Autumn is up and getting ready, making sure that everyone has their chromebooks charged, lunchboxes in their backpacks, and a clean mask in their possession. We have the drama of some kids not wanting to get dressed, but lay on the floor snuggled in blankets until the very last minute. Then, there’s making sure we get out the door on time.

In addition to just getting the morning routine down, I also plan my work day, gym time, kid time, bath/shower time, story time, mommy down time, and finally my bedtime.

Plus, we have Pathfinders, Cub Scouts, evening gym class sometimes, payroll once a week, dr appointments, counseling, and any other needs that come up in between.

Every task is planned to the minute. There is not much flexibility in our time.

All of these things are going on inside my brain, and any chaos, interruption, or hiccup in the plan, makes me a little flustered. I don’t know how to explain it, but I have everything laid out in full detail in my mind, and that’s just the way it works for me. I think that’s how I keep my sanity, and life in order.

But, it does not come without a price. I end up thinking late into the night, causing lack of sleep, but I solve many problems. 🙂 At least, that’s what I like to think.

Always being productive, never lazy. That’s been my motto for my whole life.

I have 4 children that I’m trying to teach these things to, but they are rebelling so hard.

Laziness is not something I know much about, or understand at all.

I love my children, and want to spoil them some, but they need to learn their roles of responsibility, accountability, and appreciation of their own hard work and efforts. It does have rewards and part of that, is feeling good about yourself. I have to remember to tell them “You are capable, and you are amazing.”

A Mom’s work is never done. Even if we are quiet, just sitting down watching a Hallmark Movie, or the news, we are always working..

Time flies when you’re having fun. We have had a tremendous time making some local memories and taking a little breather from our everyday chaotic schedules.

We slowed down the pace, rented a lakehouse about 40 minutes from our own. We invited friends and family to join. We were off the grid for 4 full days. We did not go to school, did not leave the house. We made lovely food, drank some fun drinks, played on video games, enjoyed some ping pong, the warmth of the hot tub, walked around the property, and had a fun fire pit, complete with s’mores one night. The boys and their Uncle Jimmy did all the work for that.

Of course, none of this “fun”, comes without some consequences. We do have to get back to reality, we do have to do the school work, and make up the missed work. But, would we do it again? In a heartbeat. The kids loved it, and can’t wait until we can do it again. They are ready already. Well.. so am I, honestly.

Right away, when we came back home, it was unpack, settle in briefly, and then off to Autumn’s orthodontic appointment for braces! Allie had her first counseling appointment, and I had groceries being delivered later that evening.

We settled back into home, geared up for school the next day. (even if we weren’t ready, it was coming).

Adam had his 2nd outing with his “Big” and they went to Climb. He had so much fun, and is warming up to his “Big Sister” rather nicely. It’s building his confidence and becoming more comfortable engaging with others.

Autumn had a doctor appointment this morning, just to get “cleared” for her upcoming in-grown toenail removal on both big toes. She has chosen on her own, to go to the hospital to be put under, for this procedure. She is so very afraid that the local anesthesia won’t work, and she does not want to feel a thing. She’s getting nervous as she counts down the days to this surgery.. 5 days as of today.

Friday, she will have to go the hospital to have a COVID test, and Monday, we go in at 10am for the prep and procedure.

Austin did well on his wit and wisdom today, and even sent me his writing piece via email. He was super proud of his writing, and so am I.

Autumn has Pathfinders tonight, and they will be working on a their kite honor. Should be fun!

Allie has a debate tournament this weekend, at Harding University. Pretty big deal. I won’t be able to attend, but she likes it best that way.

Austin has a Cub Scout Adventure Campout on Saturday/Sunday, so Adam, Austin and I will be doing that while Papa keeps the girls.

There is truly NEVER a dull moment here.

I know for a fact, that no one can keep up with our lives. It’s crazy, fun, busy, exciting, and stressful. But, I would have it no other way.

I live for moments like these.

Parent / Teacher conferences next week for the middle schooler and high schooler, so we will see how those go.

Fun times and good times!

I think we have approached some calmness in our lives for the moment. The schools are still open, we survived our quarantine period, Allie didn’t have any major symptoms with the virus, and I still have my sanity.

Check, Check and Check!

Fall is upon us, and it is very nice around here lately. I decorated for fall, which is one of my favorite times of the year.

The kids placed their “order” for Halloween Candy, since we will trick or treating inside our house this year. Door to door inside, with me as their candy giver. That should be fun.

We had an opportunity to fly to South Dakota over the weekend, and it was just lovely there. The weather was perfect, we drove through some beautiful scenery, went to an old gold mine and were able to mine for some gold, visited Mount Rushmore, and enjoyed some ice cream at the Rushmore Roasters. Austin was holding out for Dairy Queen, which we saw in a nearby town, but little did we know, it was closed for the season. Poor guy.. He was able to luck out and enjoy a Twix Ice Cream Bar at the house we were staying in. There was one in the freezer. Now it is his all time favorite treat. He is requesting that I find them at the store and keep them in stock at all times. ha

School is not Autumn’s favorite. I feel for her. She just wants to go virtual and have her Aunt April do school for her. Austin & Adam both heard her telling me this, and they agree also. So sweet, but they surely need to be in the classroom and be part of the daily routine there.

You never know. schools could close down at some point in the school year. Whatever happens though, we are prepared, and we will get through it.

I feel like I can breathe for now. The work load isn’t too overbearing, I’m working at home, so it’s a lot less stressful, with less running around through town, etc.

Adam just got matched up with a Big Sister (part of the Big Sister / Big Brother program), and his first outing will be next week at Lake Atalanta. I think it will be so good for him. Getting to know someone, doing an outdoor active activity, and having to talk. He can be super shy, but I think he will warm up just fine. It’s more about getting him to open up, become more confident, and independent of his siblings. He is his own person, and needs to grow in that.

I have high hopes for Austin, and Autumn with this program as well. They are still waiting on “matches,” but hopefully that will be very soon.

Allie starts counseling the week of the 19th, and I have high hopes for that as well. She needs someone to talk to, be able to trust outside of family, and hopefully develop some communication skills, confidence, and self worth in the process.

I can only do so much, but that is why there is a village surrounding us, and helping us through the obstacles of life. No one should do life alone.

It was Friday, September 4th, around 1pm.

I received a text from the kids’ dad, confirming we were still planning on flying to him that evening, after work and school. Yes, that was still the plan, and everyone was healthy and good.

A short time later, around 3:10pm, I receive a text message from April, asking if she was supposed to be picking up Autumn, as she was not outside in front of the school building. I thought that was weird, but yes, she was definitely to pick her up that day.

It was not even 5 minutes after that, when I received a phone call from the school, stating that she was being quarantined in the building, as she had been exposed to someone who had tested positive for COVID-19. I was devastated. This meant a 2 week quarantine for this girl, and she didn’t even do anything, except attend school. Sadly, this was just the beginning of the lengthy story.

We came home, assessed our options, decided to take her to get tested the next morning. However, late Friday night, my oldest daughter approaches me and says she doesn’t feel well, and thinks she has the virus. WHAT?!!! I couldn’t believe my ears. She said she was experiencing 2 of the symptoms; runny nose and cough. I personally had not noticed those signs on her. So, I decided just to rule out the virus, in thinking it was just allergies, I would take her to get tested also. We had to leave EARLY Saturday morning to do that, so off we went.

We spent about half the day at the urgent care clinic, in our car. I stood in line to get paperwork, filled out the paperwork, stood back in line to drop it off, have the girls vitals taken, and get back in the car with our number, waiting to be tested. After 2 hours, they finally got tested, then we waited another hour for results on Allie. Allie had symptoms, so she had the rapid antigen test, and Autumn did not have symptoms, so she had the PCR test. When the doctor called my phone, we stepped out of the car, walked to the outdoor tent, where he read the results. Allie was POSITIVE with the virus!!!! I couldn’t believe it. Autumn would have to wait 5 days for her results, since she was not symptomatic. WOW. just WOW.. We heard all the to-do’s and not to-do’s, and went on our way.

I had so many calls to make. My dad, step-sister, school district, principal, and then wait on the health department and contact tracers to call me this week. It’s been a whirlwind of a time.

Our quarantine end date for Allie was originally scheduled for 9/14, and ours was 9/21.

Today, after our 2nd tele-med call, they have extended our quarantine dates to 9/21 for Allie and 9/28 for the rest of us.

We have been isolating for 1 full week now. Everyone is separated, and it’s been a task to do school with the 2 younger boys. The girls seem to have their schoolwork and responsibilities down.

I’m all alone here, dealing, managing, surviving, teaching, cooking, cleaning, working, working out, trying to rest, keep sanity and be strong for these kids.

This is the most stressful time of my life to date.

This is not for the faint of heart.

Blood pressure has been high and low; and this virus.. omg.. don’t even get me started on that..

People ask how they can help during this time. There’s nothing anyone can do. Just be support.. if I need to vent. have an ear open, and just be there.. that is all I can ask of anyone.

Understand that I am beyond frustrated, angry, sad, anxious, and all the feels…

Yes, we will get through this.. Yes, I need to be the strong one, and yes, I know this too shall pass.

Until then… O.M.G!!!!

And also.. to those who want to make sure I am NOT breaking the rules of this quarantine.. rest assured.. I am in my house, or taking “social distancing” walks with my kids on OUR own property.

I am avoiding all people and public places, so WE are doing our part to contain this virus, and stop the spread.