It’s Thursday, and so far, no one has had any trouble with school or Boys & Girls Club. YAY! There’s a reason to celebrate, right there!

We have had a few outbursts of frustration / anger on all sides this week.

I have very little patience, and when there is whining because someone is doing something (not hurting the other), it is highly irritating. I’ve had more than a few of those moments myself this week.

I had to take my warm “calm” drink twice so far this week. lol It’s an all natural relaxer, in a powder form. very little flavor, but it helps.. probably mostly mental, but hey.. whatever works, right? no judging! 🙂 I had honestly forgotten about its existence, until I was looking in the cupboard for something, and rediscovered it!! I have it on the counter for those crazy moments, when I want to lose my S%$*!!

I have 4 wonderful children. That is a fact. I love them all equally. We have our frustrating times, but who doesn’t, in this world of crazy? We have to have a safe haven to go to, and comfort each other, and love each other through all of our flaws and weaknesses. I hope they know that I am not ALL CRAZY. Most of the time, yes.. but, I am working on that part of myself. I have to think outside of me, and focus on them. It’s often difficult with the distractions of dinner, laundry, karate, homework, school activities, meetings, appointments, and schedules…. the bedtime routine. just life..

Being a parent is hard. Being a child in today’s world, is hard.

I’m just trying to survive, and hopefully my children will thrive.

If we have just ONE great week in the month of March, with no one causing any trouble, I am going to say that’s a WIN!

These boys.. wowza!

I went to pick them up from Boys & Girls Club yesterday, and typically, as I’m walking up to the entrance, I hear them announce all 3 of the kids names. This time, they just announced Autumn’s name.. I soon found out why.

Both boys were sitting at the front, in time out.. sigh…

They had gotten suspended, yet again..

This time it was for messing around with electrical / wireless equipment in the game room, and somehow ended up breaking some kind of board.

Needless to say, they are now banned permanently from the Game Room, going forward.

They are suspended for another week.

I requested that the staff put the boys in a room where they can only read and do their homework until I pick them up, once they are allowed to return. NO problem, she said!!

In addition to being suspended, I added no electronics for a week.

They also misbehaved last evening when I had to go do payroll. I had to get my step-sister to come over and help keep an eye on them, as they kept getting out of their beds to play.. this never happens.. so, again, when I woke them this morning, I added another week of no electronics.

They make poor choices, they have to suffer the consequences.

Needless to say, they are not happy with me right now.

🙂

My boys are sure keeping me on my toes lately.

It all started on Sunday afternoon, when Austin was riding in the front seat with me. He noticed the fuse box on the side panel on the passenger side of the van. He was curious what it was, and asked me several questions. I love that!

I must remember that his little mind is constantly working. I went back to my business of driving, and focused on what our next errand was going to be.

We have our little date, then go home.

Later, both boys are playing in the playroom, which is our garage.

My dad comes to take them on a little adventure, and they go with him. I am home, cleaning. A little while later, I try to turn on the hallway light, and nothing. I just think the light bulb burned out. But, then, I try turning on the living room light and fan.. neither one are working..

I realize that the boys had teamed up and decided to see what our circuit breaker box was all about.. those 2!!!

Neither one will confess, but both are guilty, I just know it!

I am not punishing them, but I plan to teach them about the circuit breaker box, and all of its functions. Hopefully that is a better approach.

Fun times over here. 🙂

Just had to add another quick note today.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day.. it’s so commercialized, yes.. But, I still like to show the kids extra special attention / love on that day. Only because we are so caught up in our typical daily routine, that often times, there isn’t much time for “special” things.

So, I planned to make homemade heart shaped pizzas, I ordered special cupcakes from our local bakery, and we were going to be home earlier in the evening, with no extra running around needed for the evening.

The kids got to play outside, on our last nice day, and enjoy the daylight a little while longer, while I put together the pizza crust.

They came in, put their desired toppings on their pizzas, and then what came next, was a complete surprise and melted my heart to pieces.

Austin took it upon himself, to set up a picnic on the back deck, complete with a lamp for light on the blanket, he set out Valentine napkins, forks, plates, brought juice out, cups, and was all set for this picnic. OMG! Super cute!

Both boys sat out there, telling me I needed to join them. I heard Adam telling Allie there was no choice, but she had to come outside to join the fun. It was sooo cute and super sweet.

This mom’s heart was full and just amazed last night..

The latest incidents involved the 2 boys at Boys & Girls Club on Wednesday & Thursday.

They were both in trouble on Wednesday for calling a kid a bad name.. starts with a “B”… It was one’s idea to do it, and the other one, actually did it. Therefore, both get punished.

The big one happened on Thursday.

Apparently, for 2 days, someone was mysteriously putting the basketballs and footballs into the toilets in the boys bathroom. There was already pee in the toilets, possibly poo… MY BOYS were the culprits. There are surveillance cameras on the premises that prove it, but this just totally blows my mind. I had no idea my boys could even think up something like this…

The punishment:

At first, the director wanted to suspend Adam for 2 weeks, since he was the one who physically put the balls in the toilet. Austin would only get 1 week, for coming up with the idea.. However, they know that as a parent, it’s difficult to find childcare, etc.. so, both boys got suspended for 1 week from BGC….

That’s great, but I still have to manage to find someone to pick them up from school, as they have to be car riders for the next week. Luckily, there isn’t any school on Monday with the holiday.. So, only Friday, Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday pick up is needed. I have to say, a huge thank you to my step-sister for always being there for me. NO matter how big or small the need, she’s there for me.

It truly takes a village…

One day, I am sure I will look back at all this, and laugh.. telling these same stories to these boys and their kids.. hahaha

until then.. no electronics and no fun for these 2 boys..

I think it’s important to take your children out on special “dates” with you. Individually, you can learn something about your child, and truly embrace the time. It’s quality, it’s special, and it’s showing interest in them. They feel special, they look forward to it.

I took my 6 year old (Adam) to the grocery store with me last night. It doesn’t even have to be anywhere amazing, to be considered a “date.” We got in the car, and he immediately told me this was our 12th date. That just melted my heart, because I know he truly love his mommy time.

I try to take each child out separately, and they look forward to those times.

I will cherish these times too, because as we all know, time flies.

They are in our care for such a short time.

Even the teenage cashier at the grocery store gets it. He told me I should keep bringing my kids to the store, because they are only with me for a short time in their lives. That was enlightening and inspiring to me. I think he must have enjoyed his trips to the store with his mom too. 🙂

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

XOXOXO

It’s been a few days since my last entry.

I took a brief vacation to Vegas, while my dad kept the kids. That week of the trip was crazy, but it was sure nice to have that breather when I did. I came back feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the week ahead.

We are at Wednesday now, and so far it’s been full, but good.

It’s Parent / Teacher week, we still have karate, my oldest started counseling today, and there’s the quick trips to the store for the school V-Day parties tomorrow.

I also have the 3 younger ones in counseling, as previously mentioned. I met with the counselor alone yesterday. He provided quite the insight for me on what I’m dealing with when it comes to the boys.

I had absolutely NO idea just how much damage there has been to these boys. Their dad was not acting as an adult when they were in his care full time, prior to the divorce. I knew that part, I just didn’t know how it would impact their future, like it is. He charted it out for me. Showed me that their dad was lazy, didn’t work as a team player, played video games, didn’t take responsibility for his actions, and didn’t participate or try to do his best at things. Austin had done a self evaluation earlier that day, and I shared it with the counselor. He lined them up side by side, and it dawned on me that my little Austin has the same exact line up as his dad. BUT, the counselor reassured me that my kids will NOT end up like this. They have me, the counselor, their teachers, and all the support of family to prevent this. He says we are mopping up the mess that was created over 4 years ago. It’s hard work, but we will succeed. I just broke down crying in our meeting, because I never looked at things that way, and OMG! I would have acted much sooner, if only I had awakened from the ridiculousness that was making me stay. I felt it was the right thing to do. Now, my kids are paying the price.

While they are angry with me about the divorce now, mostly Autumn, he said that would eventually shift to him, as they get older.

For instance, they take their piggy bank money to his house, because they know he needs $$$$.. Eventually, they will realize that he’s in this situation because of choices he made. He didn’t grow up.

I love my kids, I want the best for them, in all areas of life. They don’t appreciate my efforts now, but I sure hope one day, they look back, and say, WOW! I don’t know how my mom did that…

All out of love… All out of love…

When you think you have your week all planned out, with the typical evening routine, there often is a hiccup in the midst.

This week would take the cake for me though.

Monday – karate as planned, homework, dinner out somewhere, showers, brushing teeth, and tucking into bed. CHECK..

Tuesday – Allie had a scheduled parent teacher conference in the late afternoon, followed by an evening meeting at a high school she is interested in attending. Well, after the parent teacher conference, Allie and I went to Me Latte Chocolate for a treat, and picked up pizzas for dinner that we would enjoy as a family a short time later. When we picked up the pizzas, we were heading to the Boys & Girls Club, when I got a phone call. It was the BGC, letting me know that Adam had fallen and is having trouble breathing!!! OMG! Luckily, I was pulling in to their parking lot, so I quickly ran in, checked him over, and decided he needed to go to the ER.

I had to call April, to tell her the situation, and she was already planning on keeping the younger kids, so Allie & I could attend the 7:00 meeting at this high school. Well, now I had to figure out how I was going to manage being in 2 places at once. I quickly dropped Autumn & Austin off at Aprils, drove Allie and Adam to the ER, where Sheila met us. She was willing to sit with Adam until I would return after Allie’s meeting. Well, thankfully, my dad also joined us at the hospital, and he sat with us too. He let Sheila go home, and he had bonding time with Adam. Meanwhile, Adam had testing done, to make sure he didn’t have any broken bones or concussion, or internal bleeding. He had fallen off the top of the slide, while playing tag with friends. He was so tough though. I am amazed that he didn’t have anything broken or fractured.

Anyway, Allie and I went to the meeting to sign her up for school next year. 9th grade!! I ran her home, then April took Autumn & Austin home to put them to bed, since Allie was now there.

I returned to the hospital to be with Adam, and my dad left to have dinner with Christy. It was another 45 minutes before we were released, so then I ran Adam home, after we grabbed McDonald’s for him. He got his pj’s on, brushed his teeth, and then I had to tuck him in quickly, and run out the door to do the weekly payroll for my dad’s company.

Needless to say, it was a whirlwind of an evening. AND a late evening to boot.

I did have to grab a double shot espresso drink to make it through with my eyes open. ha

This is just one day..

Let’s talk about Wednesday — I received the usual text from Allie around 3:30, letting me know that she made it home from school. She also mentioned that there was a 6pm meeting at the High school that she wanted to attend TONIGHT. This was like a 2 hour notice for me. It’s the night before I leave for Vegas.. We were going to be going to karate, but now that was out of the cards for our evening. I was going to have to get someone to keep the 3 younger kids AGAIN.. omg! In her defense, she had just heard about this meeting today at school.. But, oh man.. So, I call my dear, sweet step sister, and unfortunately, she was not available, so I called my dad. He said, he was tied up. But, shortly after that, Kevin text me from April’s phone, letting me know that he was willing to babysit. WOW! I was so impressed by that. I need to give him $20 for his efforts. such a sweet cousin to do that. Anyway, he saved the evening, and Allie and I could attend. Then, we grabbed dinner, took it home, picked up the 3 kids, and then it was shower time, packing time, bed time..

Thursday thru Sunday should be a breeze because I’m going to be out of town, and only having to worry about myself for 3 days.. wowza. I’m just not sure how my mind is going to handle the peace and quiet lack of chaos. (I’m sure I’ll be just fine) 🙂

til later…

I’m not a fan of micromanaging. I don’t like it when it’s done to me, and I don’t like doing it.

But, here’s the thing…. when you have 4 children, you’re on a tight schedule, such as myself, then I think it’s a necessity to some degree.

First, I have to gather my thoughts for the day, before I even try to wake the kids up to get ready. If I don’t have those few, precious moments before the chaos starts, I’m doomed.

Our daily routine consists of pretty much the same activities every single week day. That’s why I love the weekends so much. My favorite thing in life is when we have ZERO demands. Time is always the pressure point. We have to hurry to get to the next thing. It’s such a strain and stress, but it’s also how I thrive in managing my family.

Back to the daily routine.. I typically wake up around 5:20, but lay in my comfortable, cozy, warm bed for an additional 20 minutes, until I MUST get up and shower. This is where my mistake occurs every single day. I strive for that extra 20 minutes in the morning, so I am not so rushed and stressed to get out the door. But, every single morning, I wake up, and think, it’s ok.. I can still hustle to make it on time. AND WE DO!! But, I am rushed.. I can’t make the oatmeal or muffins like I want. We settle on cereal most mornings. The kids love it though, so it’s ok, right?

I want to be that mom who goes above and beyond for breakfast, but I honestly don’t think the kids have a second thought about it. They have food, and they’re going to eat just about anything that’s available for breakfast..

While they are eating, I’m typically scrambling to make lunches, which again, I procrastinate, because I always tell myself, I should have made them the night before. I’m stressing, and being that crazy mom.

But… I came up with this awesome plan the other day, where I can involve the kids in this process. I told them I’m going to start waking them up 20 minutes earlier, so they can make their own lunches!!! YES! Brilliant, right?They’re excited and want to be part of this, so I think it’s a win.

Next steps are teaching them to do their own laundry, every step of the way, taking trash out, doing dishes, and vacumming for me. It can be done, they can be taught, and I can get a bit of relief.. YES!

It’s all on me, but I think it’s time that I have some recruits.. 🙂

In last week’s counseling session, Autumn had told the counselor that I’m so mean. I immediately felt guilty, because I tend to agree. I am constantly on their cases about “do this” or “don’t do that.” If they don’t comply, then I do end up resorting to the old fashioned “spanking” and sometimes popping on the mouth, if there is too much sass.

Thank goodness, the counselor came to the rescue immediately, and shut down the thoughts in Autumn’s head that I even remotely abuse them. He explained what ABUSE was, and I’m clearly NOT doing that.

The kids have been a challenge at school, boys and girls club, and at home. With the counselor’s help, we will get to the bottom of the issues, and hopefully improve their overall behaviors.

So far this week, all is going well. Autumn did her homework, without being pushed, for once. Adam also did his homework at Boys and Girls Club today, and that just makes my heart happy. Austin did not do his homework at boys and girls club, but he did do it at home this evening, without too much pushing on my end. yay! I call that a WIN!

This mom sure needs some more wins in the behavior department.