If we go back to several years ago, we can review the children’s behaviors and determine that something wasn’t right… It’s a sad reality that me, as a mom, has to face on a daily basis.

Each of my children are dealing with something from the past, when they were little, and their world was changed forever.

I know that many people recover from divorce, and I am one of those, who dealt with that as a child. My parents divorced before I was 10 years old.

There are some things in my past that I have mentally forgotten, and I am sad that my children have to live with some of the after affects, even now, almost 10 years later.

My youngest suffers from stress and anxiety, but not too severely, where it is noticeable to most. It’s mostly known at home, where he should feel relaxed and able to be comfortable in his own home.

We are in counseling, and it’s helping, and we are trying to figure out the best methods to resolve this issue over the summer break.

It’s just hard when you feel helpless as a mom, not sure what it’s going to take for them to recover.

Childhood trauma… it’s a real thing…

Nothing physical or sexual here.. but, it’s just as bad.. intense emotional neglect.. that’s what I would categorize this under.

Damage is done, even though he seems fine, I know it’s deep in there.

Self-worth, some cognitive function, confidence, social interaction are the main issues here.

Immediate Solutions: Time together, professional help, building healthy habits, praising good behavior.

Here’s to hoping for better days for this little guy.. as we go into 7th grade..

When you have kids, it’s important to teach involvement with the community at an early age. I have taken the kids to volunteer a couple of times in their lives, but it’s that time where they need to be more involved than ever before. Even though we were not directly hit by the tornado, others in our town, were. So, we went to the Rogers High School over the weekend, to dedicate 2 hours of our time, to help in whatever way was needed.

I had a hard time trying to convince 3 of my kids that this is what we needed to do as a family. 1 was giving me excuses about home school work that needed to be completed THAT day. The other 2 were just lazy, and wanted to be at home on their computers. I had to almost yell at them out of frustration, because they were just being so selfish. They FINALLY got ready and we all loaded up in the car. I made sure they ate something too, because I didn’t need to hear complaining about being hungry.

We pulled in, they asked me what we would be doing exactly. I had no idea, because we were just going with willingness to do whatever was needed. They had a lot of volunteers show up, so I wasn’t even sure there would be anything to do. After a couple of minutes, they said there was a need to sort through all of the donated diapers they had placed in a large room. They were already sorted by size, but we needed to bundle them in groups of 10, and put them in large trash bags, labeled with a WM bag, what size they were. So, we got to work. Gramma and Papa Keith came too, so the 7 of us were all in the same area working. The boys would make the groups of 10, and I would rubber band them together. We worked hard for a solid 2 hours.. except Autumn & Austin got worn out and rested on the mats in the gym for a few minutes before becoming restless. We were offered a bottle of water, they brought us more bags and rubberbands, because we went through them rather quickly.

The kids only looked at the time a few times, saying “45 minutes left,” etc. but, I think they had a good time, and when we left, everyone was in a good mood. No complaining or whining.. thankfully!

This was only a small contribution to the incredible loss our community felt, but with everyone doing something, a lot can happen in a short amount of time.

Just over here trying to help my kids see beyond themselves, one day at a time.

Adam just finished 6th grade, right after the big tornado storm came through and destroyed much of our community.

The school informed us that the formal graduation program was canceled.

However, parents and teachers came together, and were able to work with the Amazeum for us to have an informal graduation party / celebration together.

All of my kids went last night, which was nice. We have been doing more outings together recently, and I am happy about that. Sometimes, it’s hard to get everyone out of the house at the same time.

Once we got to the Amazeum, things started out nicely. We had purchased some donation items for those that lost things in the storm, and they had a table set up for those things. Then, we went around the corner, they had a nice refreshment table set up, and the slide show of the students – 1 older photo and 1 recent photo. Adam’s pictures were not on there. I was so bummed, because I had submitted photos a week prior.. not sure why they didn’t make it on there. I just could not believe that. oh well…

Then, we went to some of the exhibits, played around, and then Gramma arrived. We went through the place together, having fun. No problems.. then, the boys became little terrorists.. oh my goodness! I have come to the realization that my kids are now too old for this place. They were abusing some of the props, and just being naughty if you know what I mean. They were having fun for a bit, then doing things like taking apart the monitor display case in the shopping center, dismembering a baby doll, putting apples under the chickens instead of the eggs. you know.. just being boys..

It wasn’t long after that, we called it a day, and went to Braum’s for the graduation treat to celebrate.

Fun night, and on to 7th grade..

Cheers!!

Over the holiday weekend, we had a severe storm blow through our area, which turned into a massive tornado. We have several trees down, power lines down all over town, and no power for several thousand people. Major devastation and clean up is ahead for our community.

The kids only had 4 days remaining, to finish out the school year. Adam had one final field trip to Crystal Bridges Museum, Field Day, and Graduation from 6th grade. Austin was pretty much done, and Autumn is home schooled, so she has 1 week remaining no matter what.

But, our daily schedule changed immediately. Thankfully, nothing is damaged on our house or cars, and we have a whole home generator. We can keep things going for now.

Hoping to have power back in the next day or two, but not sure on exact timing.

Life is strange at the moment. Our local Walmart is closed, due to damage.. Shareholders week is this week, Sam’s Club has a supplier summit this week, and it’s just going to cause more crowds into our damaged towns.. very hard week here.

We usually do grocery delivery, but I’m so afraid to do that right now, with all the trees around town needing to be worked on by clean up crews, and stuff.

Kids are fine, and only one has gone out to see the damage with me. I know that’s probably not a wise thing to do, and we should have stayed home, so that clean up people and emergency crews can get out and not be disturbed with unnecessary traffic. I just wanted kids to see the severity of our damage, so they won’t ask me to go to Taco Bell.. when there isn’t one right now.. you know what I mean? It’s just pure devastation. I’m so grateful that our family and friends survived this. It really was a scary thing. The kids and I went downstairs within about 30 seconds of the intensity hitting our house.

Even 3 days later, the 3 younger kids haven’t seen any of the damage in person, only pictures.. it just doesn’t seem real.

So.. the remainder of our holiday weekend, was just spent at home, avoiding the damaged town. Kids had their cousins over and we just hung out, eating favorite snacks, watching movies, and hoping another storm wouldn’t blow through.

We are expecting more the rest of this week, so hopefully nothing crazy like the last one.

This summer is going to be a bit different than years past.

Thinking twice before going out and acting like nothing happened here. We have several in our community who lost their homes, their vehicles, their businesses. This is a huge impact.. We will need to be more compassionate and sensitive to those around us.

Be thankful and helpful.

With the new year already almost half way through, of course I thought it was time to provide an update on my growing children.

Autumn had a rough time right before Christmas, and ended up having to go in-patient therapy for a week. She came out of it in a much better state. She tried to return to school and make it to the end of the semester, and it was barely survivable for her. So, we had applied for home school prior to the winter break, and she got in to Connections Academy. So far, it’s working well for her. She has a flexible schedule, she has teachers on staff and they have daily check ins available at students convenience. She is doing a lot better with this flexible schedule, and working alone. She is almost 16, so we’re working on driving, and will schedule the driving test next month. Then, when she does turn 16, she just goes in and turns her permit to a license. woo hoo!

Allie has continued working part time for her grandfather, in the 3D printing department. She has been consistent with that, and has applied for part time student at the local community college in the fall 2024. She still has to get her driver’s license, as she will be 19 next month. So, we have some work to do. Allie still takes a medication to keep her level with anxiety, but it’s working and life is good for her. She participates in family activities, outings and even joins in the conversations and fun. I’m beyond grateful compared to where we were this time last year. We also have a mother / daughter trip booked to Oregon in July, where we will explore the towns, the coast, good coffee shops, the local life, and some college campuses where she wanted to go to school at one time. We will see if that is still something that she wants to pursue in the near future.

Austin has been working on school more than before, however, one particular teacher, is his least favorite. He hasn’t been putting forth best efforts in that class. She has found that he sneaks around the computer system, and plays a video game without getting caught by the administration. However, they are finally on to him, so trying to get a meeting with that teacher to discuss further action. He’s going to be in 8th grade next year, so we want him to be in all 8th grade level classes. Not sure if that will be the case in this particular class or not yet. School is out at the end of next week, so hopefully this teacher contacts me this week, to discuss options.

Adam hasn’t fallen asleep in class since late 2023. He was scheduled to have a sleep study, but a diary had to be filled out prior to the appt scheduling. Since he hasn’t had any issues at school recently, there is nothing to fill out for the diary. I think that is great news, and it saves us $$ and a trip to Little Rock Children’s Hospital. He’s doing better in class, trying to catch up on some of the assignments he didn’t complete, so he can finish the school year strong. He graduates 6th grade next Thursday! He will no longer be at the elementary campus, and be joining his brother at the 7-12 campus next fall. He will also get to go to the Boys & Girls Club Teen Center for the first time, and he’s super excited about that!

All of the kids are growing, changing, and turning into pretty decent young people.

They don’t like to get out too much, as they enjoy their video game worlds, but you know.. A mom never stops trying to get them to get out, explore the outdoors, do something out of the ordinary, and spend time as a family.

We are on Christmas Break and it’s colder than cold outside!

Staying cozy and warm is where it’s at! The kids are certainly enjoying sleeping in, not having a schedule, and no responsibilities. Remember when our lives were like that? Seems like a lifetime ago.

Well, it’s been nice to be able to work at home this week, and not have too much going on.

Allie is still working for “papa” and doing pretty well there. Autumn is struggling with school, so we are looking into homeschool starting in mid-January. Austin has a little bit to work on in English class, as he’s struggling. Adam is struggling in all classes, so we are having to reassess what to do with him..

Life is always full of adventure and challenges. We just have to embrace it and do the best we can to navigate through.

Taking the kids on a cruise to the Bahamas in March during their spring break, so I really look forward to that! Not booking any excursions this time, so we will just walk around and explore on our own this time. AND we can get back on the boat anytime.. should be fun.. at least I am counting on it being fun anyway.

Everyone got what they wanted for Christmas.. I’m still waiting to see how low the cost will be on a Ninja Air Fryer.. I will check it out at Sam’s Club tomorrow. That’s on my wish list for myself.

We are going to have a New Year’s party at our house this year, so hopefully the kids will stay up until midnight for the confetti and the toast, to ring in the New Year 2024!

Until the next time, I think this a wrap of 2023.

Where, oh where, did the last few months go? We are already in the fall season, with the holidays approaching this coming week!

It’s been a warmer than usual season thus far, therefore, the holidays just kind of crept their way in. I am having to quickly scramble to make my Christmas shopping list, the holiday meal list, planning for family time, and relaxation. YES, I do have to plan the relaxation, because as we all know, life is busier than ever before.

Kids are still alive, but my oh my, what a ride it has been since school started back up.

Allie – graduated high school in May, so we had to have a sit down meeting in August, to figure out what their life was going to look like, since they decided to take a year off, before starting college. They now work for their grandpa’s business, managing TWO 3D printers. He just started this department, so they get to have experience with the programming, and the daily tasks involved with products that he’s developed for his business. They seem to enjoy the work, getting out of the house, getting to go to lunch with their grandpa almost everyday, and it’s good for the mental health side too. Since the last update in my blog, Allie has had to change medical professionals for the medication management. We were taking 4 medications per day, and are down to 2. It’s been GREAT to relieve them from the control of the medications, and they are thriving more than ever. I know we have to celebrate the small wins, because there is still some anxiety, but it’s not nearly as much. They don’t have panic attacks anymore. They are able to function and socialize a little bit, and even make jokes. It’s been a nice transformation to see.

Autumn – started high school this year, so here we go on this journey. They are struggling in a painting class, as they don’t like to get their hands dirty, they don’t like the way the gloves feel on their hands either, and they don’t like working in groups. This is a huge obstacle for this particular class, and the teacher has been going above and beyond in finding alternate ways for them to still get credit in the class. not sure what all this fear of getting their hands dirty is about, but hopefully they can see past that, and just do it for this class to pass. She’s an artist, and don’t artists get their hands dirty in the stuff? not this one.. She likes to draw, with pencils, pens, and graphically, but nothing beyond that.. oh, how I hope this teacher can pull her out of her comfort zone, because she is so talented. She will do well in whatever she decides to create, with whatever tools she’s given.

Austin – he’s at the big kid campus now, and in 8th grade. He’s developed so much over the summer, and even into this school year so far. He’s learned to ride a bike, he likes to go out to eat, shopping, exploring the world around him, socializing with people a lot more, getting creative on his computer, exceling in the areas of interest to HIM. He has had detention a few times so far this year, and he tries telling me that he didn’t deserve the detentions, and doesn’t even know why the teacher has it out for him.. There’s always two sides to the story, so I do reach out to the teacher to find out more, and she assures me that he’s a bright kid, and doesn’t like having to give it to him. But, he did disrupt the class by being loud, or whatever it is, so he gets it, as well as some other kids.

Adam – He’s still having issues with falling asleep in class, so we are now journaling his sleep, putting him to bed 1/2 hr to an 1 hr earlier than usual, and monitoring the sleep in class. We are taking steps to make sure he knows he can rest in the nurse’s office if necessary. He can have snacks whenever he wants, to ensure that he has the energy to stay awake and do the tasks in class. We will have a follow up in about 2 months with the children’s hospital to see if improvement has been made with these steps. If not, then we are going to have to have the sleep study done in Little Rock.. hopefully it won’t come to that. He’s a bright boy, but, struggles with being social with his peers, active at P.E., staying awake in classes, and participating. He started seeing a counselor, who does at school based counseling, which hopefully helps him with these struggles.

Overall, we are hanging in there, making it through. Life throws us curve balls every now and then, and we just have to figure out our next move.

Goals for the remainder of 2023, is to set out time for each other more, relax at home more, find delight in the little things that truly matter, and press pause on the hard stuff when we can.

Life is what you make it, and you have to live life with intent.

Don’t stress over the uncontrollables.

We are just cruising along through the days of summer, and it’s flying by so fast!

The kids like to stay home a few days a week, rather than go to the Boys & Girls Club, so I’m fine with that. I decided to work from home Mondays and Fridays, so they can sleep in, I get to sleep in also, or have an early flying lesson. It’s a win win.

But, boy, those kids can sure sleep in.. it’s after 2pm, and some are still snoozing away.

We aren’t doing a lot of activities, as it’s been really hot to do anything outdoors, plus the things they want to do, cost $$$..

So, we are home, chilling.. with the A/C and snacks. hahaha

Papa travels a bit, so he has taken 2 of the kids on trips with him, and they enjoy that. We went camping overnight last month, we have plans to go to Silver Dollar City a few times, as we got the annual passes.

We had a family reunion, which they weren’t too involved with, but it was something for them to be part of if they wanted.

We visited Grammy while she was still alive, but we just lost her less than 2 weeks ago. She was strong and did not suffer with much pain, thankfully.

I had a friend come visit this weekend, and we did a lot of shopping, and Autumn & Austin joined us for a delightful dinner, to celebrate both my friends and my birthday a few weeks early.

School starts back up next month already, so we have a little bit of time left to cram in some fun.

I hope we can get to the movies, Wet Willy’s water park, and maybe a couple of hikes.

We do have a train ride booked at the end of the month for the kids and I to go to Ft Smith (have some lunch and walk around), then get the train ride back home. That should be a fun outing.

Autumn gets to go to summer camp, the day before she turns 15! So, we will have to celebrate her in a big way prior to that.

Everyone seems to be doing good, just lounging, with no cares in the world. wouldn’t that be nice to go back to those days?

na.. I’m good with where I’m at. 🙂

Cheers to the summer vibes..

With the company I work for, they have given us the option to work from home on Mondays and Fridays.. Since the kids are out for the summer, I think it would be very beneficial to have me at home on those 2 days of the week. Benefits are endless…

1. We all get to sleep in
2. We all get to be together
3. We can take lunch time breaks and chat / take afternoon strolls
4. We are home by 5 (hahaha)
5. I can make sure they do laundry, put away their dishes, and do something fun outside of electronics
6. Down time

So, I am thankful for my job. This will allow more productivity at home and work, at the same time!!!

I haven’t shared this with the kids yet, but I think they will be just fine with our plan.

Hoping for some great memories this summer, even though we aren’t taking any remarkable trips, or have any extravagant plans.

‘Twas the first day of summer school for the boys. They were not thrilled about going, and they made sure to let me know days in advance.

There was moaning, groaning, dragging of the feet, pouting, even refusal to get out of the car that first day. I sure felt like this was going to be a one time thing, and they would get over it.

Well, I got the call about 12:45, right when I was finishing up from the gym. It was the principal of the school. She was calling to inform me of the behavior from both boys.

Adam had just not been participating, and falling asleep in the classroom. Austin on the other hand, made a rude and disrespectful remark to his teachers. Apparently, he said something along these lines: “You’re going to get paid regardless, if I work or don’t do the work, so I might as well just sit here.” oh no he didn’t!!! I had to apologize, and she told me the boys weren’t welcome back to summer school, because they didn’t have the staff to handle the re-directing or even a separate classsroom to handle them. They were both being disruptive and it wasn’t ok.

I felt helpless in that moment. I tried to encourage the boys at the very beginning, the whole reason they were even attending summer school. They had both missed quite a few days of school, due to being sick, therefore their grades had suffered quite a bit. It was more out of helping them be more prepared for their upcoming year of 6th and 7th grades. They didn’t buy it. They thought it was pointless and were super annoyed to even give it a chance.

So, here I was, thinking what can I do with them now? Boys and Girls Club was where they were going for the summer, but this would not be a consequence for how they had just behaved at summer school, and basically getting kicked out..

So, I had a talk with them that evening, and my dad just happened to pop over at that time. He offered to take them with him to work, and put them to work with outside projects! This would be absolutely perfect, and just what they needed. I know they weren’t excited about that either, but they worked long hours, and are almost finished with their work week.

I also took their electronic devices away until who knows when… hahahaha

They are acting depressed and hate their lives, but we will see how long this will last. I will try to make life more fun for them. 🙂