I think things are looking up for the behaviors on my 3 littles…

Even though Autumn got a 3 day suspension from Boys & Girls Club earlier this week, Austin wasn’t participating in class or doing classwork, and Adam was refusing to do a task requested by his teacher, and escaped from the classroom..

We are meeting a private counselor at the school. He meets with each child individually, once a week, and I am part of the meetings twice a month. He also meets with all of them together on occasion. They do play therapy, and so far it’s going really well. Basically, he’s trying to gather information about each one, by playing a game within a game, where he asks questions on each turn in the game. He also observes them in classroom, asks the teachers questions, and wants to know what our life is like at home, so he asks me things too.

We are going to get a handle on what makes each kid tick, and hopefully bring out their best qualities, so they can really shine as individuals.

School is tough, there is no doubt about it. We have to have great support to be successful. I’m so thankful for the teachers, staff, counselors, Boys and Girls Club staff, and family who is there for me on this journey with hills and valleys. I couldn’t do this without them.

That’s all we want as parents, right? To teach our children to have respect for their elders?

Today, there was no school. I took my 3 youngest to the Boys & Girls Club for the day. By 12:30 this afternoon, I had received a call from the director, to come pick up Autumn, my 10 year old. She had been giving some major sass to the director himself, as well as physically hurting her brother, Austin.

Autumn told the director that she pinched Austin because he wasn’t moving, and was being annoying..

When the director told her that she cannot physically touch her brother, or anyone else there, she just shrugged her shoulders.

He told her to go to the office, and that I would be called. She told him, she knows where the office was, and she wasn’t going. She said, I hope you do suspend me. That’s what I want. Do call my mom..

So.. I had to pick her up and bring her back to my office for the remainder of the day. fun times!

The punishment was to write some sentences 100 items.

1. I will be nice to my brother.
2. I will respect the staff.

Later, when she was sassy with me, I added a third sentence. “I will respect my mom.”

Additional privileges taken include the use of her chromebook indefinitely, no sugar or fun.

We will see how she improves over the next week or two. She has her next counseling appt on Thursday this week, which I will be sitting in, so… we will see how that goes too.

Overall, my kids seem to respond well to authority, but for some reason, Autumn finds that she must be argumentative constantly. with everyone..

When you’ve had some struggling moments with lack of patience, and wondering for the life of you, “why aren’t my kids listening, and doing what I need them to be doing, RIGHT NOW?!!!” That’s when you need to take a moment, breathe, reset your mind, and focus.

I struggle with this on a daily basis. I have major lack of patience now.

This is kind of how each morning goes below:

First, my 7 year old doesn’t want to put his shoes and socks on for school. He has selective hearing, and continues to build his model car, because he HAS to finish it before we leave.

Second, my 10 year old decides she’s going to wear shorts to school, and doesn’t care that it’s 40 degrees for the high today.

Then, we have my 6 year old boy, who is focused on getting rewards, like a lego set at Walmart, so, he’s trying to complete as many chores as possible, before we leave for school.

My 13 year old is still in her room, finishing getting ready for the day. I help her out by making her lunch, so she doesn’t have that to worry about.

We scramble to make sure everyone has coats and backpacks, and we race out the door to conquer our days.

I drop by my cousin’s quaint coffee / tea shop, so I can get my daily brew that gets me through. 🙂

I’m on day 4 of a head cold. I haven’t been sick in a couple of years, so this is hitting me pretty hard.

Life doesn’t slow down though, when you’re down..

A good example of that was yesterday.

Monday is our karate night, and typically when I schedule my grocery pick up from our local pick up location. Totally awesome service btw, if you haven’t tried it yet.

Anyway, my 10 year old goes to the school nurse that morning, and tells her that she’s had a urinary tract infection since last week, but didn’t want to tell me. She’s in major pain, and needs to go to a doctor. I got that call from the nurse mid-day… I had already made arrangements for grocery pick up, so obviously I was still going to have to make it over that way to get those.

I left work early to pick up my daughter from after school care, and I went ahead and grabbed the boys too. I could have left them there until 7:30pm, but thought, no, it will save time b/c we will go pick up my oldest daughter at home, get the girls in their uniforms for karate, then grab dinner while we are out. But, as soon as we pulled into Med Express, I saw the parking lot was pretty full, so I needed someone to pick up the boys, and take them home to my oldest, so she could watch them til we finished at the doctor. Luckily, my mom was able to help with that, and all seemed to go smoothly for a few minutes….

THEN, I received a text at 4:45pm from my oldest girl, saying that there was a special, important meeting at her school that she needed to attend with me, AT 6pm… WHAT?!!!

Now, I needed someone to watch the 3 younger kids so I could attend this meeting. Hoping the doctor visit wouldn’t take super long, I frantically made calls to get someone to help watch the kids for me. My dad was busy at the airport, working on a car. My step-sister wasn’t going to be home, my step-mom wasn’t feeling well… That only left my mom.. again.. So, I called and she was very kind and willing to help me. This took a tremendous load off me.

My oldest girl and I attended the meeting, dropped off prescriptions for my 10year old girl, ran home, put everyone to bed, and run BACK out to get groceries and pick up prescriptions that were going to be ready. All went well, and seemed to be just perfectly timed.

Even though the evening didn’t go as planned AT ALL, we accomplished what we needed to, and I’m just super thankful for my “village of people.”

Without support, I would be completely stressed to the max…..

So, I recently found out that the elementary school, where my youngest 3 attend, has a private school counselor, who comes to the school several times a week, to meet with students. After my initial meet and greet, he’s going to start meeting with my 3 that attend there each week, and I will join twice a month. This therapy is going to do wonders for all of us.

My 10 year old daughter, had been going to a counselor in town, having to be picked up from school mid-day, and I never got feedback from this therapist AT ALL. So, when I found out that there is a school counselor, and they don’t have to leave campus to meet, you better believe I was all over that.

Focuses:

My 6 year old / 1st grader has some anxiety, doesn’t participate much with the group discsussions, and is starting to get quite sassy. He recently pulled his pants down in the cafeteria and has started acting out. We will see how long the therapy will need to go on, but I’m hoping just a few months..

My 7 year old / 2nd grader has some anxiety, insecurity, and lack of confidence. He’s on prescription medication to address the ADD portion of his symptoms. We have been on that since the end of kindergarten. He’s very well behaved, just doesn’t follow directions or stay on task. It’s hard to get him to do his schoolwork in class. He’s had to go to the office and work multiple times. After his first consultation with this therapist, his observation is that he’s very internal. He is insecure and lacks self confidence. He says “I can’t” a lot.. I fear that my level of frustrations with him, might be a large contributing factor to how he is today. I am really glad this was brought to my attention, so I can be more mindful in how I handle the frustrated times with him. I don’t want to cause permanent damage and self worth issues. OMG!

My 10 year old / 4th grader has major sass, but moreover, major hurt and anger about the divorce. It occurred almost 4 years ago, but she’s still very sensitive to the issue. We are going to work on this, as well as some bullying behaviors recently. She lacks empathy sometimes, and other times she’s amazing and relates well to people. We must build on this good quality and help her develop into the young lady she’s meant to be.

And then there’s me… I’m just a single mom, trying to keep all the balls in the air, and maintain sanity, help guide these children the way they should go, responsible, respectful, kind, leaders, and to make the world a better place.

We will see how the next few months go with some real, guided, involved therapy.

So, you know how it is.. you get off work at 5, go pick up the kids from after school care, run home, have the kids put on their karate gear, grab a snack, and run out the door, to make it to their class by 6, all while trying to maintain composure, i.e., your sanity.. ha

While driving to karate, I hear all kinds of whining about how so and so smells like poop, someone has bad breath, one is tired, and one is perfectly calm and relaxed. I’m none of those. I’m stressed as can be, trying to make it to the class on time, and make sure everyone is well behaved in the process.

We drop one off to class at 6, run to Steak N Shake for my oldest, who’s class doesn’t start until 7. We wait at the drive thru for 10 minutes for a hamburger, plain with ketchup only. RIDICULOUS wait time, might I add.. AND they forgot the cup of water that I ordered. It’s ok.. I have stuff to DO.

I drive to Home Depot, right across the street, to grab air filters and a single pole light switch, because somehow the boys managed to break theirs.. sigh..

After that, I take my oldest to her class, pick up the one who just finished, and move on to our next group of errands.

I am wanting a Zaxby’s Salad, so I go through the drive thru there, and ask if the kids want anything from here. They say, no, but they would love a smoothie at Smoothie King… What do I do? I pull in there, let the kids go inside, and pick from 3 healthy sounding smoothies. They are in smoothie heaven, if there is such a thing. 🙂 Soo cute to see their faces in here.

We get back in the car, and drive to Braum’s, to pick up a few chicken strips.. THEN, to our grocery pick up spot, and finally back to karate, to pick up my oldest, who’s class was just finishing up.

Not done yet…. 🙂

We get home, right at bedtime mind you, and 3 of the 4 need showers. PLUS, groceries need to be unloaded and put away. I recruited my oldest for the grocery portion, and both girls were happy to help me. THANK GOODNESS!

I helped my kids get ready for bed, and just as I was on my last string of patience, my 10yr old girl walked into my room, and asked if she could sleep with me, and help reduce my stress by helping me fold the pile of laundry on my bed. I was so frustrated at that point, I snapped at her, instead of being very thankful and sweet to her very kind offer. I immediately felt horrible, and told her I was sorry, I’m just so tired and ready for adult time. I need that for my sanity. She went off to her room, but I DID hug her tight and told her thank you for offering and being such a sweet girl. I kissed her good night, and told her that I really am sorry and love her so much.

OMG!! I feel like such a failure at this single mom thing almost daily.

Sanity and patience.. where are you when I need you the most??

HUUUUUUUGE “SIGH” HERE…

Little Things matter.

Whether it’s a gentle touch of a hand, whisper in the ear, little cuddles, sweet giggles, or a genuine compliment.

Any one of these things should absolutely melt your heart, and stop you in your tracks, if given from one of your precious babes.

I cannot even begin to tell you how sweet it was, to hear my 6 year old boy tell me how much he loved my singing last night, in the car on the way home from karate. It came from nowhere. He was completely being honest with me, and I just reached over to him, and said, that is soo sweet. I just love you. Even if I know I’m off-key in the song, he appreciated it!! That meant the world to me.

My 10 year old daugher, telling me that she missed me, and just wants to cuddle with me, OMG! Heart melter! Or, when I ordered her some new lounging pants, and they happen to be similar to mine, she runs to my room to find them, and brings out my slippers too! so we can lounge together. Soo very thoughtful and sweet.

If only I could see from their eyes more often. I just get caught up in the daily stresses of life, and chaos, that I usually end up missing the little things..

Trying to do better from now on.. that’s the goal. keep striving for being better than yesterday, last week, last year, etc.

It’s definitely the little things that make life sweeter and joyous.

It all can’t happen in one day.. it takes years of practice, and intentional living, to become the master at parenting.. and if you believe that, wow! 🙂

There is no “becoming a master at parenting.” Just when you think you have things figured out, the next phase of “toddler 2’s, sass, and attitudes” happen.

It’s a slow and steady process of learning about yourself, and your young ones. What makes each child tick? I have yet to know, and I’ve been parenting kids for over a decade.

I just know that I have to constantly remind myself to be patient, take my time to explain why there are expectations and chores, homework, school, respect, all mixed with a little sprinkle of fun..

The time flies, and yes, I mean it passes by in the blink of an eye. When you are in the midst of the chaos, or storm some people say, it feels like a never ending pit. But, it doesn’t have to be that way.

I try to stay focused and positive, taking it one day at a time, one obstacle at a time. There are many, believe me.

Just breathe, stay on the course, and you will be rewarded.

My little pep talk for the day.

Happy 2019… Here’s to an awesome year of adventure and excitement.

Make the memories, take the trip, sip the coffee, and smell the fragrant flowers.

So.. my kids go to their dad’s about once a month. He lives 5 hours south. My dad owns a plane, so he generously offers to fly the kids to see him, when he’s available, and when weather cooperates.

It had been about a month since they had seen their dad. The last weekend visit, was crazy. 2 of the 4 came down with a stomach bug. He lives in an RV, so you can only imagine how THAT must have been for 5 people to be in there together… (shivers)

I enjoyed my quiet time, but it hardly seems worth it sometimes, when I hear / see the things that happen in his care.

When I picked them up on Sunday, none of them had showered or brushed their teeth the entire weekend. My youngest didn’t even change his clothes, or open his suitcase… sigh..

When I asked their dad about the showers, he simply replied that they were being annoying about it, when he asked them to bathe.. hmm.. not ok.

We watched a movie when we got home, AFTER showers.

At about 10:30, I told them it was time for bed. They got to stay up an extra 2 hours!! My youngest piped up, that they get to stay up until 1am at their dad’s.. it’s no wonder they were wide awake at 10:30, and didn’t want to go to bed..

Always an adjustment getting them back in the routine, and I guess that’s why it’s a limited visitation schedule.

The kids love their dad, and that’s what matters.

I never say a bad thing about him, but geez, I want to sooo bad..

I just shake my head and proceed with things the best way I know how.

Cheers to a Happy New Year!!

It was the night of receiving the gifts from Papa & Grandma on Christmas Eve.

Allie received a nice set of wireless headphones, and she was excited, and thankful. No real emotional responses ever come from that girl.. lol But, she liked her gift.

Autumn received an art projector, and she loved it! The item worked for the first night, and by morning it stopped. It was ordered on amazon, and luckily the return process is simple. PLUS, they are replacing it before they even receive the malfunctioned one. WIN!

Adam received a massive Police Station Lego set that he has been wanting for 2 years.. He was excited beyond belief.

Then, there’s Austin.. He’s soo into electronics, that Papa thought it was a great idea to get him an expanded electric set. He has a smaller one already, and he enjoyed it a lot. So.. when he opened it, his reaction was far from excited. He looked over at Adam’s gift, and said, I really wanted THAT.. PLUS, look at the age on that toy. I’m closer to the age of it than Adam is. He’s at least going to need my help to build it. Adam told him, no.. I want to build it all myself. Austin quickly replied with “sharing is caring.” LOL

At least there wasn’t a complete meltdown over it. He communicated with words, and his logic made sense. 🙂

Until next time…