Back to school this week, and I am prepared. Armored with the best teacher around. April (my step-sister) comes to my rescue, as usual. I just appreciate her so.

We are maintaining our routine fairly well.

I start my day with coffee from my favorite coffee shop (Reverie), and get on the computer for work before 7am. I do what I can before 8, when I go downstairs to wake all the kids.

They are to eat breakfast, get dressed, brush their teeth, get their school work set up, ready for April’s arrival at 9am. School is from 9 til 11. They are able to complete all of their daily work within that timeframe.

Then, it’s playtime. I am still working, so they are content with eachother’s company.

I make a lunch, we go for a walk in the neighborhood, and play some more. Of course, I work some more, and then the day is done.. except on the day when we have virtual karate, pathfinders, and now counseling once a week.

It’s an interesting time across the globe, but we are managing, and learning to thrive in these unprecedented times.

Coffee for the win.

Kids Chromebooks for the win. (this is how they get their school work done, read books, test on books, and stay accountable to meet their weekly goals)

Kids having supportive, engaging teachers for the win.

Having family support for the win.

We are doing it, with a smile. 🙂

We have completed week 2 of family quarantine.

First week was school + working at home.

Second week was Spring Break + working at home.

Now, it’s the weekend.. Parks are closed, so what will do to fill our “outside” time?

I plan on taking a couple of kids canoeing this weekend on our property. YES! Adventures don’t stop, just because we’re in the “stay home” mandate.

But, I am ready to be free from sitting behind the desk all week, free to sit on the back deck, sleep in my cozy bed, watching the news or a Hallmark movie, and do some baking. Easter is coming up soon, and I need to dust of my fun cookbooks and see what I want to create for that. Adam’s birthday is coming up in a few weeks too.. oh boy.. no formal party for him, but we will still make the cake, do the presents, and decorate for fun.

Life is so different, but it’s not horrible.

Embracing these times… one day at a time.

I have 4 lovely children at home with me, while I work, continue to prepare meals for them, (at home), keeping the house tidy, laundry caught up, get that fresh air, maintain sanity, all while doing the “things.”

I am gaining a bonus child during the week, 4 days a week anyway, while her parents are working. What’s one more? She’s definitely a joy to have, so there is nothing to complain about there.

I have the blessing of being able to work fully from home, get my full benefits, and I’m truly GRATEFUL! There are not many who have the same situation.

This is spring break.. We were planning a trip to dig for diamonds this week. Leaving today actually. Instead, they requested that we set up our family tent in the garage, so they could experience camping. No problem.. I just wish we had property they could just pitch the tent up in the backyard, and we would be safe. There have been vehicle break-ins in our neighborhood, so we really can’t just camp out there. I also started out with 4 kids in the tent, and the BOYS were deciding they wanted to sleep inside instead. The girls braved it out, and made it all night long. They loved it.

We will continue our outdoor hikes this afternoon, scootering around, swim tonight at our family poolhouse, and hang out at home.

We are truly blessed with the situation we are in, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, given our circumstances.

Local parks and facilities were shut down, effective yesterday.

I’m just thankful for my cousin’s coffee & tea shop remaining open, to provide my daily essentials, to keep my sanity. 🙂

Kids are grateful too, since they do enjoy her custom hot chocolate and steamed milk.

Cheers!!!

You probably heard that virtual reality would be a thing of the future.. well, we are here. we have arrived.

With schools being shut down, all extra curricular activities canceled, theaters closing, music festivals and such canceled, what are we to do as a society, to keep “alive?”

We are resorting to technology, and live streaming of events.

My kids are involved with Pathfinders, Cub Scouts & Martial Arts.

Our Martial Arts classes will be doing virtual classes starting this evening.

Pathfinders is also doing live classes, as well, as some activities online with due dates.

(However, Cub Scouts just announced that they still want to plan the pinewood derby next month, as well as a family campout, and resume meetings April 7th.. I don’t even think so…. at this point. If we are not in school, I’m certainly not entertaining the idea of any other activities)…

Just when I’m settling into our relaxed new normal, with no demands, no activities, enjoying the down time, they find a way to interfere.. haha

Technology can be a great thing, but I have personally been enjoying this escape from everything life. I long for simple times, and quiet, calm, just us at home.

But, I will fulfill the duties that we signed up for, and make my kids “attend” the things.. Afterall, we are not quitters, just wanted some down time. I love all of our activities, don’t get me wrong.

I’m still working at home from 7:30 til 5 though, so it’s hard to transition from work to right away, another activity, when I just want to get away from technology.. you know?

It’s invading my life..

I’m sure the kids don’t mind one bit.. it’s just me….

that’s all.

And we are entering Spring Break time.. It’s a time when we are supposed to be enjoying some digging for diamonds and a cabin in the woods with some friends.. Needless to say, I had to cancel that trip, and get a full refund. We WILL rebook once we are able, and have our adventure time.

Our next 10 days of “break” will be interesting.. I have a few ideas on some fun we can have, but I have to work too. So many people are being laid off this week, even if temporary, it hurts. I am blessed so far, that my company is remaining open, with the majority of employees being able to work remotely.

Right now, the kids are sitting next to me, where I have my workstation set up. They love being close to me.. lol I’ll take it.. because one of these days, far too soon, they will be off somewhere doing their own thing, thinking I’m not cool enough to chill with.

Some of the activities we will be doing next week:

(weather permitting)

*Go outside 3 x’s per day – adventure walks on the property

*Bake something together

*Movie nights = 2 nights per week

*Organization of the toys – gathering of things to donate when we are able to get out and deliver

*Sort and fold laundry together (it will be soooo fun!!)

*Hide and Seek in the dark

*Musical Chairs

We will see how it goes…

As everyone is now in extreme “social distancing” mode, working from home is the new normal.

Schools are shut down, grocery stores sold out of most items, restaurants and bars closing, or limiting capacities, the daily life that we are accustomed to, is changing indefinitely, into an isolation mode.

We are just trying to adapt as best as we can with this, to avoid spreading, and hopefully reducing the spread of a national pandemic “virus,” COVID-19.

I am journaling just a little bit of this, as a reminder for myself, when I read this in the future. One day, this is going to become a distant memory in our children’s lives, but forever, a change in our economic world. We are just seeing the beginning of the impacts.

I have to say, that I am ever so grateful for the company that I work for. We have the great flexibility to work from home, and never miss a beat with our daily tasks. Taking care of our customer is #1.. always.

But, the kids.. oh my goodness. With them being home, I have to feed them 3 meals a day, PLUS snacks. I have to make sure they do their daily AMI work, get their reading in, get dressed for the day, stay somewhat quiet, as I have conference calls, and prevent the screaming and fighting as much as I can. It’s not all bad.. Trust me. They get along really well mostly. But, with evening activities being canceled indefinitely, no outside stimulation all day, because I’m working, we’re going to have to come up with something.. I am going to have to get them outside this evening, because the rest of the week, we’re expecting RAIN!! ahhh!! can’t take them to high rise, skating, bowling, movies, etc. We will have to come up with some active games tonight. Maybe hide and seek in the dark, scavenger hunts, chores turned into fun, like cleaning contests, winning prizes for the most things picked up and put away nicely.. who knows.. But, I still have to be productive at work, and try to balance all this out. It’s tough.

TV is great entertainment. They are enjoying watching Stickman on youtube, Pencil Nation, and boys building things like tree houses, swimming pools, and little huts out of dirt and sticks.

We are only on Day #2 of who knows how many?? But, we’re going to make the best of it.

I just need to come up with a incentive plan, that the kids will be motivated by, without me reminding them constantly, or feeling like I’m pulling my hair out because they tune me out. After all, tuning THEM out is MY job.. hahahaha

Just when you think the world is dark and gray, with no end in sight of challenges, there is an opportunity that presents itself. It might just possibly be the most needed thing in our lives.

A couple of months ago, a friend of mine told me that her son is part of the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, and loves it. They match your child up with a mentor (either a teenager or could be an adult) who has similar interests, and can help enrich their life, by spending time with them. 2-3 times per month, a couple of hours at a time. Taking them to do things, someone they can look up to, and learn from. I thought that sounded like a great program, but at that time, I was thinking my life is just too busy. There is no time right now to add another “thing.”

Well, I was laying in bed late one night this week, reflecting on recent life events. I was just trying to think of all the recent crazy and negative behaviors both boys have been expressing, and I remembered my conversation with my friend. So, I looked the big brothers big sisters program online, and there was an application right there, that I could submit through their site. I filled out 1 for each boy, thinking, we’ll see how this goes..

The next morning, I received a phone call from the coordinator, and we have a meeting scheduled during spring break to discuss further. They will meet the boys, get to know their interests, so they can match them up appropriately with a mentor. I’m so excited about this, I just want to jump up and down here!!! I really think this is an area in their lives that is lacking. Someone to just spend time with them, one on one, quality time. Expressing interest in what they like, and really taking the time to get to know them. Guiding them. I can only do so much. Theses boys need a good male role model, to actively be involved with them. This is the perfect program, in my mind!

Another positive this week, is the school that Austin has been temporarily placed in for an ALE program, is going to pursue testing for autism, or any other behavior issues that they see, that could help get him the help he needs to be successful in school. He is a smart kid, just needs some extra guidance, attention, and support. I love our public school system, and I can’t believe I was ever hesitant to send my kids here. I was raised in private school my entire life, so public schools were always thought of as the place where the “bad” kids go, and the teachers don’t care.. That is NOT true AT ALL. Those stereotypes are just plain WRONG!

I know that I am blessed beyond measure in our area, and the staff at all the schools I’ve encountered are amazing! They love the kids, they love what they do, and are 100% dedicated to the students succeeding.

Always hold on to hope for great things, because I am determined that great things are in store for us!!

This week has been WOW! The kids surprised me beyond words. I have had the OMG of weeks, in a long time.

It’s hard to start today’s post.. I can’t even gather my thoughts enough to have a well thought-out recap.

First, I will start with the most recent activity. Last night, coming home from karate with Adam, Allie, and Austin, both boys were sitting in the farthest back seats in the van. They had loosened up the seats from their clasps to keep them in place. The seats would rock back and forth as I hit the accelerator or brake. They were giggling, and having a ride of their life. I calmly asked them to please lock the seats in place, as it was dangerous for them to be riding around loosely like that. They WERE buckled, but I just felt uneasy about this position. so, when they did not comply, I pulled the car over, opened the back door, and swat both of their rear ends for not listening or obeying my request. They just laughed at me and said “you need a t-shirt that says, you just made us laugh.” THAT comment made me so angry, my face was hot and red. I wanted to beat them so bad.. but, I kept my cool, got back in the driver’s seat, and started to drive home. This time, the boys loosened up, not only their far back seats, but the two middle seats, so they would slide to and fro whenever I would stop and go. OMG! I had enough. So, I pulled over yet again, and swat both of their hands and bottoms. They were giggling still.. What in the world was I to do in this moment? I called my dad to the rescue. He met me at home, and had a long talk with Austin. Adam had corrected his ways by then, offered to help with grocery unloading, and putting away. He apologized, and did what he needed to do the rest of the evening.

Second, I will start with Austin’s recent credit card shenanigans. He had taken my current credit card from my wallet yesterday, and brought it to school. I did not even know I was missing said credit card until the teacher notified me that he had one in his possession, claiming it was an “old” one. I had just gotten her text as I was pulling into work that morning. I had multiple “talks” with him about fraud, stealing, how it can impact the rest of his life, how no one trusts a liar and a thief. He isn’t getting it. So, back up to my story above, I was walking into his room that evening, and removing all precious belongings from his room. His floor fan, alarm clock, google home mini, toy guns, walkie talkies, you name it.. He was so mad at me, chasing me through the house to get them back. He got so angry, that he went to the dining room and started knocking over chairs. I told him Papa was on his way, and would be having a talk with him. He was telling me that he would refuse to talk to him. Well, it turns out he did talk to Papa, he calmed down, apologized to me, told me that he loves me, and really wants his stuff back.

We will see how his day went at school today, if there were any issues with April, and we will discuss when he can have his favorite things back.

Looking forward to some quality time with Austin, as I had told him that he will be my shadow all weekend long. He has no idea what he’s in for…

If you think for one second that a nine year old child is “innocent” and doesn’t know much yet about real life things, you might be living in a fantasy world, or under a rock.

I honestly believed that my 9 year old son was simply smart, and amazing in all things technology. And, I do believe that he still is just that.. But, there’s more.. He’s soo smart and tech savvy, that you now have to keep your guard up in all things.

He recently hacked into my “credit Card” and “Debit Card” accounts 3 times. I thought after the first time, it was solved. NO.. he did it again.. and now again.. I am struggling on this.. does he not have a moral compass? no conscience? does he not care about consequences?

As a parent, long-term life goals for my child do not include time behind bars… but, if this route continues, and he becomes more knowledgeable, and dangerous, I might add, we are in for quite the ride.. I am so nervous and sick about these recent events, that I am freaking out inside on how he will turn out years down the road. He’s disrespecting me in ways I just never thought possible. He has pushed me to my limits. I had to call on my dad this morning to help me. I just can’t bear the thought of losing his soul to evil, but right now, I feel that is exactly what he is. He doesn’t care about consequences AT ALL, as long as he gets what he wants. It’s just a shock to my system.

To my core, I have beliefs that children will experiment with little things here and there to push their limits, test their parents rules, and patience. But, honestly, this is just beyond those things to me.

I never would have tried to take my parent’s credit card and charge $1,200 to Walmart.com.. or buy multiple subscriptions for games, points in games, or spotify..

I plan on seeking more professional help beyond his current therapist next week, ASAP.

I understand that school based counseling IS available for private insurers, and I plan on requesting this help ASAP.

My day has been ruined, but his life is about to be changed in ways he never imagined..

Consequences are coming my boy..

NO electronics indefinitely, and they have all been removed from the house.

This just blows my mind…

sigh….

Hoping there is light at the end of the tunnel…

The stress level rises when multiple things are happening at once. One kid talks over another. One has to be the loudest. One makes fun of another. The volume and tension escalate until this mom just can’t take it any longer. The burst of the bubble happens. Mom goes off!! She tells the children to knock it off.. but, does that work? NO! She has to take more of a drastic approach, more often than she would like to admit.

If driving, she must pull over right away and fix said issue.

If at home, she has to walk directly in their faces, and take away whatever it most valuable to them at that given moment, for a period of time.

If in a public place, she just talks quietly and says “you’re grounded from electronics.”

The thing is though, most of these “issues” that arise, are not terrible. Just pushing my buttons at the very wrong moments in time. I mean, is there ever a good time to push mommy’s buttons? case, NO! But, there are better times than others, I suppose.

Anyway, my story is this.

This past weekend, the kids went to their dad’s. I was really hesitant to let Austin go, after the attempt to charge $$ on a credit card prior to going there. He still denies doing that.. but we know the truth. He was busted.

While they were at their dad’s, Austin had a major accident in his pants. His dad made him clean it up, including mopping of the floor. I know that had to be torturous for Austin, having to actually mop a floor. He even told me that he didn’t like his dad for making him do that. I just told him, wow, I’m going to make you mop our floors, now that I know you know how to do it!! lol

Anyway, we had to drive to meet half way on Sunday, and so, we did. Well, I had no idea of this accident, until late Sunday night, when we got home, and started unpacking. I came across the majorly soiled pants in his suitcase, just covered. OMG! I didn’t notice them until I got some on me. So awesome! I freaked out because I couldn’t believe these weren’t discovered prior to now. The accident happened on Saturday night, while they were in his care. ugh! So, now I get to be the lucky one. I don’t think so.. I tossed those in the trash so fast. There was no cleaning them..

After that, the kids were getting ready for bed, I read them a brief story, I was impatient, tired, stressed out, as the kids were just delaying bedtime as much as possible, ignoring my requests, and being demanding with me. I had had enough at this point. I tucked them into bed, and went upstairs. I can’t even begin to tell you how frustrated I was. I just felt overwhelmed with wondering “why” Austin did this at his dad’s. He doesn’t ever do that.

The next morning, I go downstairs to wake everyone for school, and I smell something gross. I know what it is.. but, I had to find where it was coming from. ughh.. Austin had an accident in his bed over night. poor guy.. I woke him up, made him get in the shower to disinfect himself, put all the bedding in the wash right away, and sprayed the heck out of their room. Happy Monday, I thought to myself.. after the crazy, stressful night, I just wasn’t wanting that kind of a start to the week.

I’m sure Austin didn’t either. I tried to be very kind, gentle, and sweet to him through this. I was worried how he would do at school today, but apparently, he was just fine. I fed him breakfast, took his temp, made sure he was clear, before just taking him to school for the day. I wanted to set him up for success. I never heard a word from the school, so thank goodness. I hope it was just a temporary thing… hoping tonight is better.

The house is quiet now, and I’m able to reflect a little bit on my reactions to the daily stresses of parenting. Single parenting is hard. You have to be everything to each one of the children. They are needing every bit of me. I can’t even go to the bathroom alone. lol seriously…

But, through all the daily demands of this role I am in, as a mom, it’s all worth it.

I miss them when they go to their dad’s for the weekend. I miss our relaxing mornings, when I make coffee, and they ask if they can have some. They request swedish pancakes, orange juice, hot chocolate, or cuddle time. I have to remind myself of all these good things, and our traditions. It’s so easy to get caught up in a stressful moment, and just go from being happy to mad with the snap of a finger.

I try to breathe, close my eyes, and picture myself on the beach with the sounds of the waves, breeze in my hair, and a gorgeous sunset, as I’m really going through cleaning up poo or breaking up a fight, and playing referee.

It’s all out of love, and I hope one day, my children recognize that I was not trying to be a mean mom. I hope they have memories of me being happy with them. I don’t want their memories to be that I was angry or stressed out all the time.

But, for sure, there is only one person who can fix that.. and that’s me..

Time to show them another version of me.. always striving to do better.. be better..