How do you handle the intense feelings that you might get when one of your kids is absolutely pushing you to insanity?

I am having to constantly defend myself, in a battle. 10 year old vs MOM. I feel so beat up, and I just want to be heard, understood, respected, and we move on to the next thing.

But, no.. this particular kid of mine, who argues til the cows come home, wants to push every single button I have, and then finds others I didn’t know I had. For REAL! I try my hardest to explain myself, my reasonings, and it goes unheard. He has a very extreme one-track mind. I try to be patient, but that only lasts one millisecond.

The latest discussion revolves around the beloved video games, and the new, reduced time allotted, implemented by none other than MOM. He absolutely refuses to accept this new rule. He tells me that he doesn’t like this new way I’m raising them. He says he will refuse to do school work now, because I am taking away his video game time. hahaha.. I don’t think so.

He tells me this isn’t China, and I can’t make this type of rule. hmmmmm..

He tells me my idea is idiotic.

I get angry, bitter, and start to talk loudly about my position on this decision.

I want them to understand that video game time is not a right. It’s strictly a privilege and reward for doing the things they need to do first.

There is no understanding this..

In the meantime, the drives to school are heated discussions, and I will continue to keep my cool, as much as possible, but man, I wish I could pull over and make him walk some days.. lol

He forgot his backpack today, and I was ever so kind and drove back home to get it for him. He text me from the school bathroom, telling me he really needs his lunch box for snack time, and lunch. He can’t stand the school lunches. I did tell him that next time he forgets any items, it’s on him, and he will need to face the consequences the entire day without the item. He didn’t understand that one either.. sigh..

My late former mother-in-law used to say, the days are long, but the years are short.

It’s soooo true!!

embracing these moments, as when they grow up, the house will be empty, quiet, bare, and lonely.

I don’t know what lonely feels like most days, but I can feel it.. I can picture it. I don’t like the thought of them leaving me, and never wanting to be part of my life when they grow up..

So.. I have to keep a connection with them. loving, caring, nurturing, but firm in consequence, accountability, and life lessons.

it’s hard, but worth it in the end..

Hanging on for dear life over here… by a thread… a very, very, very, tiny thread..

Having this “caretaking” personality I have, it’s very difficult to shift the load of responsibility on to others, when my instinct, is to automatically just do it myself.

It’s faster, efficient, keeps me feeling fulfilled, needed, important, and having a purpose.

But, I know that, in order to raise self-sufficient children, who will eventually become adults, walking on this earth, I need to learn to let go.

So.. the challenge for the remainder of my parenting these under-age children, is to teach them to handle things on their own.

We will start small. Making their own breakfast in the mornings.

They do have chores that they are expected to do in the afternoons, and that started the first week of school. This wasn’t hard to implement, because my step-sister manages this portion of the afternoon.

But, with me, the kids just KNOW I am going to do these things FOR them, so why should they bother getting up and getting their bowl, spoon, milk and cereal for themselves.

I am so used to this routine, as are they…

Why the sudden change? They resisted strongly this morning, but I made sure to make it very clear, the expectation going forward, starting today.

They will make their own breakfast and their own lunches for school.

This is not a huge demanding task, but to them, it’s the end of the world as they know it.

One of the kids went to school STARVING. I made sure to text the teacher, but she and I talked on the phone, and she said he eats the school breakfast every single day, despite having breakfast at home. I should not feel guilty at all.

So.. I won’t.

This mom is fed up with some things, and independence is key in life, so here we go.

I’m up for the challenge, no matter the push back I receive.

At least I’ll be receiving something.. hahahaha

So many news channels, articles, social media posts, even family & friends, are expressing sheer panic these days.

It’s no joke that COVID-19 is contagious. It’s a real sickness, that can be caught by anyone, anytime, any place.

The real kicker here, is the vaccine requirements, to simply keep your job, in order to have an active role in society.

When your kids are riding home from school, with a family member, and family member’s kid tells them, they can’t come over to their house until their MOM is vaccinated.. what the heck are we teaching our children here? It’s the first thing out of their mouth when they see me at an outdoor event on the holiday weekend.

I am sorry, but just because I simply say NO to a vaccine, does not mean I have the plague.

The kids ask me why I won’t get it. I explain to them, this:

It’s not going to prevent you from getting sick, you still have to wear a mask, you still have to socially distance, and there is not enough study done, on the long-term effects of the shot. I would rather take vitamins, eat healthy, get fresh air, and live life as usual.

So, that is what we are doing, safely, of course.

We travel sometimes, but we stay at an airbnb, or eat outside, if we dine out. The places we have gone, we wear a mask indoors. We avoid crowded places, plan our outings in advance, on off-peak times.

We do a lot of drive through / pick up type of meals, when eating out places, even around our town.

We don’t have parties, social gatherings inside, or hang out with large groups of strangers.

No thank you to that either!

But, again, we are over 20 months into this virus, with many variants making their presence, and what are we going to do about it?

NOT Panic!!!

I choose to live, knowing what is going into my body, rarely taking medications, so my immune system will work. Antibodies of the virus are still actively working for me, despite the variants that come along.

In God I trust. How about you?

Let’s teach our children to think for themselves, research things on their own, rather than just fall for whatever is thrown your way from leadership.

Just like religion, you need to study for your self, rather than take every word from the pastor as the gospel.

Guidance is good, but mandates and control is not.

It’s baaaaaaack… did we miss it? Not really..

So far, we are a little over a week into the new year, masks are still a thing, and so far, we are in the clear of having to quarantine. (knock on wood).

Allie is a junior this year, at a new school. Anxiety is not as bad as expected, so far. There is some, but her medication is helping with this. so grateful for that! She is doing it!

Autumn is in 7th grade, still at the same school. She is super bummed because her friends didn’t return this year for some reason. She is having a better week #2 so far, just hoping that continues. She approached the vice principal yesterday, asking if she could bring a tablet to draw in class. I told her that they would most likely say no, but she wanted to ask anyway. I was proud of her for taking initiative on her own to do that. They did say no, but hey.. she asked. and you never know until you do that.

Austin is in 5th grade, and is still in the small class, but his teacher is hoping to prep him for regular 5th grade learning classroom this year. He should be spending majority of his day in a regular classroom settting. He’s not too excited about this.

Adam is in 4th grade, still doing his thing. He’s a good listener, most of the time, does his work, and most of the time without complaining. He lost a tooth today!!

April — what can I say about her? She’s still my angel, and making things happen in a major way this year for me.

She is picking the kids up from all of their different schools, had me make a daily chore list, has each child doing their homework and their chores, before they get to do anything fun.

This is the path to success, I do believe.

April is my “co-parent”, step-sister, listening ear, friend, and so much more.

Here’s to a wonderful, successful, stress-reduced, happy school year!!

Despite what is going on in our world around us, we must remember the most important world.. our family, friends, co-workers, and self-care.

When you live in the technology age, the kids are enamored by all that is offered.

Austin is 10 years old. He has been wanting a phone for a LONG time.

I haven’t been able to justify in my mind, turning this into fruition.

But, with recent discussions with an outside, non-biased person, it was brought to light, that rather than focusing on “why he cannot have this” let’s talk about “how it can be possible to have this.”

Working to get something is a very valuable lesson that will carry through life experiences and is something that should be learned at a young age.

So.. with that said, Austin & I came up with a plan for him to get this “Dream” item for him, on his own.

He is eager to mow lawns. We have ours, my aunt’s, my brother’s and possibly my step-sister’s house in the lineup. In addition, he will incorporate some smaller chores around the house to be able to meet his monthly bill, plus pay back what he owes me from a past issue.

This agreement should be fair, and there are some rules involved with this new device. He is, after all, only 10 years old.

There are expectations that he must follow, in order to obtain and maintain this new found freedom.

So, as my title mentioned, money is motivation, because he really wants to have this “thing” and he needs to be able to make “money” to get it and keep it.

The same goes for Autumn.. she wanted a new game for her computer. Well, she came to me asking what can she do to earn $25 today. I provided her a long list of items, and she completed each and every one. So, I kept my word, and gave her the money. She was happy for that.

Austin’s is a long-term agreement, so there is more commitment involved. He will be set up for success, but it is up to him, to maintain.

This will not be anyone’s fault, but his own, if the money is not in the account when the bill comes due. This will also be a hard lesson for him, and one that I will have to follow through with, if and when it comes to pass.

I only wish him success, but this is completely up to him.

It’s the middle of July, school starts back in about 1 month.

What have we done to fully absorb all that summer has to offer this year, in 2021?

The removal of mask wearing for one thing! That’s something to celebrate.

Summer school for 2 girls, Boys and Girls Club, field trips, fire pits, s’mores, pool time, visits to their dad’s house, time with their Big Brother/Big Sister, sleeping in a few days – when they’re not going to Boys and Girls Club.. They have had plenty of video game time too.

But, there’s more to come. We have only a few short weeks left, so here’s what is coming up in our world of fun.

Baseball Game with the fireworks at night, Aquatic Center, Hiking with a picnic, visiting the new nature center, going to see the Monster Trucks, taking a trip to Tulsa & OKC and staying at a very nice Airbnb with a pool and a firepit. We will explore a museum and the Gathering Place. We also have to plan a trip to St. Louis, because I have tickets for the children’s museum and we need to go into the arch. Something I’ve never done!

We had a pretty low key summer to date, but watch out kids, this mom has some big plans for you!! 🙂

No time for those stale video games. hahaha

It’s always been a while since the last update, and it’s hard to recall all the things that have happened between now and the last update.

This entry might end up being a lengthy one, but nevertheless, very active.

We have been back in our house for about a month now. It’s been great! The kids are settled mostly, and we are back into our daily routine of things.

There were a few other mishaps that we came across, like the A/C having a leak through the walls and floor in my bedroom / master bath. Repair work is still pending for the ceiling, but at least the leak was fixed in a timely manner, to prevent major damage.

The upstairs hose spicket was leaking into the house earlier this week, when we tested it, so the plumber had to quickly come out and repair that. She had forgotten about it, and we thought it was fixed. oops!

My lovely step-sister came across a fairly large, dead brown recluse a couple of weeks ago, in my upstairs dining room. So, that created the desire for me call an exterminator. They came out, inspected all of my existing bug traps, found 20+ brown recluses, and recommended a full house treatment. This was completed on Monday this week, and I don’t think I have seen any since this was done.

I am still very thankful for being home, dealing with the little things that get thrown our way, but still ever so thankful.

The children are out of school, all the summer activities are happening.

Allie is in summer school, trying to do virtual, and I’m really hoping she will finish this, and be ok. We have had quite the struggle with her, just trying to get her to do school work, participate in daily life, feeling good, getting out of the house, seeing psychiatrists & psychologists, getting tested for a variety of suspected mental health disorders. She is still feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, depression, and does have ADHD as well. I’m trying to be understanding, patient, kind and loving through all of these unexplained things she’s experiencing. We don’t know where it all came from, and she can’t even express or identify either.

Autumn started her “learning luau” this week, and they are making learning fun and interactive. She seems to like it alright. She has that in the AM, and then goes to the summer activity center in the PM. She has a lot of emotions going through her right now. It’s normal, as she is approaching her 13th birthday in the fall. She’s moody, and no one is blaming her for having the extreme emotions. It’s just hard when I’m constantly taking the beating. She will hopefully turn out ok, but for now, she has gone through a few sessions of counseling, and has determined that she’s not going to go back to her for a while. I know she has a lot on her mind, so she needs someone to feel comfortable to talk to.

Austin made it through 4th grade.. he’s not the most excited about learning at school, and is only interested in things that strike his fancy. So, if it’s not electronic or technology related, he pretty much dismisses it. But, I will say that he does love history. He’s at the fun center this summer too, and so far there haven’t been any issues. I keep crossing my fingers when I see the boys walk out together, and the leader is following behind with her clipboard in her hand. 🙂

Adam is doing really well. He’s now in 4th grade, and seems to really try to take interest in many things. His newest, being cooking in the kitchen. He even requested a chef hat & apron, so of course, I had to go to amazon and buy him that!!! So, he likes to help me make brunch on Sundays.

This summer, I am really trying to incorporate more “fun” in our lives, rather than always the hustle and bustle, and sticking to the routine. We are going to have one family activity night per week, and this week’s I selected Bowling as our activity together. It was a struggle to get everyone to want to go, but we did it. The girls didn’t play, but the boys and I did. I did tell everyone that they were going, but it was up to them, whether or not they had fun. I am letting the kids weigh in their opinions and ideas on what activity we should be doing each week, and I did list out some suggestions.

mini golf, dinner out somewhere, pie night at village inn, roller skating, climb, evening walk, chore night at home & ice cream after, just to name a few.. so far it has not been met with huge excitement, as I had hoped. I won’t give up though. I know that I want to have fun with all of my kids together, and this time is short that we have together.

Overall, life is good, busy, and rewarding.

I am overwhelmed and stressed often, but I’m aware of that, and am working on doing better everyday.

Being the best mom I can be…

Being me…

It’s not so much about the results, as it is in the process of getting there.

I am learning this, as I am navigating through many opportunities in my life at the present moment.

The kids and I have been staying at Grandma & Papa’s for over 2 months now, since our house is still in the process of repair.

The countertops have encountered many obstacles, with unlevel flooring, additional support needed underneath, leveling of cabinets, and additional reviews, images and opinions of both experts and non-experts.

The downstairs ended up needing a closet built, to create additional support underneath the bar area for the kitchen. The girls bedroom ended up needing to be re-done from sheetrock, mudding, and painting.

The garage doors ended up needing to be replaced, so they are now functional.

The circuit breakers ended up having a short somewhere, which was determined to be coming from my bedroom. Then, this initiated all new electrical outlets, light switches, and conversion to LED lights throughout the entire house.

Each of these things, caused additional delays into moving back home.

Hoping for the end of next week.

I do plan on having a cleaning party, and everyone is welcome to join the fun.

In the midst of all of this chaos happening, we are going through a lot of emotional battles with the kids.

I have 3 of the 4 in therapy, and my youngest one now shows signs of needing some as well.

Nothing is wrong with counseling. Mental health is super important, especially with everything going on.

It’s just finding the time between work, school, gym time, family time, and down time.

Time is just a thing, right?

We are making it happen, and thank goodness for a super supportive company that I have been part of for over 15 years.

Hanging on for dear life, but with the support of family and co-workers along the way, makes such a difference.

Everyone on this earth goes through ups and downs. That’s what makes us human. We have trials and tribulations, and times of rewards and successes.

This period of my life in particular, sure feels like the most challenging, stressful, facing so many obstacles, thinking there is no silver lining.

We have been staying with my dad and step-mom for over 6 weeks now. It’s been really good, steady, and positive for all of us.

The house repairs have had a few twists and turns along the way, causing a few more weeks of a delay getting back in, than we care for, but it will be better than ever, once complete.

The countertops are having some issues with the floor not being level, or strong enough to support the weight of the granite. The cabinets are unlevel, the floor has actually dropped by 1/2 inch in two weeks. The bar didn’t have sufficient support underneath, so that had to be added as well.

The girls’ room was not repaired 100% to my satisfaction, so we are going through another person who will re-do some of the sub par work that needs to be attended to. (re-texturing, redoing some sheet rock, and painting touch ups)

The garage walls/entry will be redone also, because some of that work was not done correctly either.

Overall, we’re looking at 2 more weeks of living out of a suitcase. no biggie.. right?

I share a room with the boys, and one likes to cuddle, and begs for me to just go to bed when he does, at 8:30.. haha.. no way! mom’s bedtime is a little bit later, I tell him. 🙂 But, of course, I will snuggle with him, for a few minutes.

The girls are sharing the entertainment room, sleeping on the couches. They seem comfy as can be.

We also brought the birds along, and they are adjusting just fine, and made a new friend with Andy, the pet bird that lives here.

Everyone has their groove, and they are doing well.

It just seems as we go along this process, there is a setback, an issue that arises unexpectedly.

That’s just life, I suppose.

Either way, we are fine, we have family that is there for us, and so much to be thankful for.

What this does for me, is help me grow.

Patience, understanding, tolerance, silence, and appreciation are golden.

The last few weeks have been epic.. to say the least.. action packed, as my title indicates. There are so many words. It feels like all of the above have happened in our life.

We have had a snow storm, with temperatures only known to be found in the arctic. Who would ever go “FIND” these frigid temperatures for fun, is beyond me. But, we had them. Our houses were not made for them. My pipes were evidence of that. Upstairs pipe was not insulated, therefore it froze, burst, causing major leakage all over the girls room downstairs. We are now staying with my dad until we can get repairs made. This could be a week or two. Fun times.

Then, on top of that, my house where my brother lives, has a leaking pipe, from what we believe. We turned the water off, and have an insurance agent coming out to assess soon. There are many stories similar to this, in our area of NW AR. It’s massive disaster for many. We are lucky, in that we are alive, we never lost heat, we had plenty of food to live on, and we have each other. We also had the gift of isolation or quarantine happening at the same time. I had COVID-19 during all of this. I am feeling fine though, thankfully. We are ready for whatever comes our way, but it is being recorded in my blog, as a very memorable event in our lives. I cannot just simply skip this entry because I want memories of our good times, hard times, bad times, and extremely awesome times to be in this for us to look back on, and REMEMBER.

There are many other struggles in the kids lives, but we are working through those, as they come. Allie has medication adjustments to help with her anxiety and depression. She is doing virtual school, but unable to physically finish assignments fully each week. This has been ongoing since October. We are not giving up. She is bright, strong, and capable. We just need to get her to feeling better. This is my number one focus through all of this.

We are stronger together, and we always have to strive forward, ready for the next obstacle, but that’s how life is.

It’s just how we handle it, that is key.

We love life. We love adventure. That’s what this is…