Let’s try to update on all things that have happened since the last update… haha

First, I will start with my oldest child, Allie. Over the summer, we continued our monthly counseling sessions, even though the regular therapist was out on maternity leave. We met with this new person, and Allie seemed to be OK sharing thoughts and convictions with this person. It was during one session, which I was in as well, that it was shared that Allie identifies as non-binary & asexual. WOW! What a bit of news to share with mom, in front of a counselor, who was going to help my emotional way through this. I was a bit sad, because this was my 1st born, my “daughter,” I had so many different visions of “her” future than this. I had to sit and process this for a few minutes, with tears, of course. I was just overwhelmed with thoughts. I wondered what “her” future would be like, what friends and family would think or say. What people would say about me, as a mom. What did I do wrong? I was just completely like wow! So, after a few minutes to process, we discussed those thoughts and concerns, carefully, thoughtfully, and sensitively. I wanted Allie to KNOW that “she” is special and loved no matter what! I never wanted “her” to think for one second that I didn’t “approve” of this news. It’s just an adjustment for me. I am not well-versed in this LGBTQA+ community and what this all means. I support my “daughter” and will be there for “her” no matter what. I am not going to run around and shout from the roof top or anything, but I am here for THEM. My child wants to share part of their true feelings from their heart, and truly identifies this way, than who am I to say they can’t? I choose love and support during this time. Adolescence is hard enough these days, and they need all the TLC available from their circle. This is just something that is new territory, as I told the counselor. I have to adjust to saying “them” “they” instead of “her” and “she” when talking about them. This is something that we are all still in the process of getting used to, but it’s taken courage for Allie to come out and say this officially. Also, this doesn’t mean that’s how it will be forever. As a teen, life is confusing, strange, and so much pressure from peers, social media, news, and even sometimes school. We just have to take this one day at a time, and love through it. Allie did share that the feelings of depression are no longer present, as much, now that this has been shared. I am ever so grateful for that. This child of mine has struggled with extreme anxiety (and still does), ADD, depression, and sleeplessness. We are on a medication regiment to treat most of these things, and still going through the stresses, but I am finding that they are communicating needs, desires, and opinions so much more frequently now. It’s amazing to see this! I continue to be there for Allie and hope that my friends and family are too.

Second, let’s talk about Austin. He’s growing up FAST! He’s now 11, and is helping family fix computers, giving me everyday knowledge on the latest technology out there, and all the things he can’t wait to buy for himself. LOL He’s on a fall break for 2 weeks, and while he’s able to spend time at his dad’s for a week, he said, “why would I do that? I want to work with Papa and make $$” So, that is exactly what he’s been doing all week this week. He’s not complained ONE time about having to get up early, and get after his day. He’s in Chattanooga this weekend, working a trade show with his Papa. I’m super proud of him, because we most recently graduated from counseling together. We had been going to see a counselor together, about once a month. He was struggling in school, that’s how we first got started with him. But, over time, he’s learned how to apply himself in school, find the motivation within himself to do the work, stay on task, listen and be respectful to others. He’s doing very well. We started at a new school this year, and he’s enjoying and adapting to it. I am very pleased with what I’m seeing so far. I even text his former teacher that he had for ALE, and she was so glad to hear the update too. She told me that she stayed an extra year at that school mainly because of Austin. I love hearing that! She made a difference in him, and I greatly appreciate special teachers like her.

Now, let’s talk about Miss Autumn. She’s 14.. She is also blossoming into quite the young lady. She’s starting 8th grade this year, again at AR Arts Academy. She really had a rough go at school last year. Changing schools mid-year, getting COVID, then getting mono. It caused her to miss over a month of school. She did attend summer school, to help get her where she needed to be for starting 8th grade off right. I recently had parent teacher conferences, and every single one of them LOVE her. They are impressed with how she is engaging in conversations, participating in class, doing her work and turning it in on time, and answering the teacher surveys. They know her learning style, because she communicated that directly with them. I am just super impressed with that! She’s also a free spirit, which I absolutely love!

Finally, let me update you on Mr. Adam, my “baby” and momma’s boy. 🙂 He’s now 10 years old, and loves dates with his mom, evening walks, kayaking, adventures, and staying home to play his computer game. He can be very sweet and want to help make dinner, and then there are times when he’s so absorbed in his games, that he hardly steps away to eat his dinner. But, overall, he’s a great kid. He loves math and he’s really good at it too. His teacher tells me that recently, he’s been coming to school really tired, and it takes him half the day to really wake up and participate in class… hmm.. this is about the same time that he asked to have his phone as an alarm clock.. I think we will be having a talk when he returns from his dad’s over the weekend. No more of that!! He likes to take showers twice a day, follow most rules, and he’s the only one who likes to ride in the convertible with the top DOWN! haha

Overall, life is pretty sweet, not so crazy and chaotic in the past.

I attribute these positive changes to my village people. I have gained so much from my years with having April be my other parent with me. She’s been the taxi, picking kids up from school, being their tutor to ensure they get their homework done and turned in, their “mom” to ensure they get their chores done, and obey when they start talking trash back to her. She’s been my rock for so long, but this past summer that changed. She shared with me, that she’s going back to school, to pursue her degree in business. I am proud of that for her! She’s something! Well, with that bit of news, I had to change some things about my schedule to make this work. I found out that Boys & Girls Club does pick up from the boys’ school, and Autumn can walk to it from her school. WINNING! Then, for Allie, between my dad, step-mom, my mom, and myself, we worked out our schedule to get “them.” It all works, and we are doing it! With me being home in the evenings, rather than at a flight lesson or the gym, it has opened up my time to be with who is most important. My family. So, we have dinners together, can relax, wind down, take an evening walk, whatever. It’s been really great these past few months.

Change can be a good thing.

At least it is for us.

This title says it all.. Basically, since the last update on this blog, all of the above went through our house like a rocket. It was just one thing after another, non-stop.

My 13-year old felt most of this pain.. She was very sick mid-April, and it wasn’t until the end of that month, that she was finally diagnosed with having mono. We don’t even know where she got it.. But, it had her down for a little under 2 months. Last week was her first full week back at school. She will have to attend summer school, since she has missed over a full month of class time. Even now, she’s experiencing extreme congestion, along with an ear infection this week. She did get an x-ray yesterday, and it revealed that her lungs are clear, thank goodness! But, we have yet to find a medication that helps relieve her symptoms. Allergy meds aren’t touching it. Nasal Spray isn’t helping. Anti-biotics aren’t touching it. We have one more anti-biotic to try per the doctor, and then we will be referred to an allergist. I am hopeful that we are on the path to finding resolution soon.

My 10-year old experienced some strange symptoms at school one day about a month ago. He was so light headed and felt dizzy. He collapsed in the school hallway, and he believes he passed out. He described it as if he wasn’t alive anymore. Very scary! His teacher found him, and took him to the school nurse. I took him to the children’s hospital that evening. I did have him tested for mono also, and they said that the results indicated he had mono at one time, but they could not determine a timeframe.. only that he didn’t have it currently. They took blood, and found that he was dehydrated. After a little more tests, everything else was normal. We went home, and made him drink fluids all the next day. He was back to his normal self after that.

My 11-year old came down with COVID shortly after that.. he was down for 3 days with high fever, and slept all day. I thought it was mono at first also.. but, he tested positive for COVID, and had to isolate.

After another day, my 10-year old tested positive for COVID. But, he didn’t have any real symptoms.. at least for 5 days of that anyway.. then, he had a fever for a day or two, and was tired.

My 16-year old, has been struggling high amounts of anxiety, mainly due to school, assignments, pressure, and having to complete some college level courses, that she just could not make herself do. Despite knowing that she needed to, she just couldn’t.. I am at a loss on how to help her through this, but she is still attending counseling bi-weekly, taking her medication, reviewing doses on a monthly basis, and attending classes, just to make it through.

Needless to say, this momma is worn out from all this sickness, and running from doctor to doctor weekly!

Hoping for some relief this summer, that includes water park fun, camping, hiking, making homemade ice cream, birthday celebrations, and traveling.

Always staying positive and on track for success.

Cheers!!

We have been going through the motions for the past 2 months or so.

Winter has been long and drawn out, making us weary and tired of the endless days of cold, snow, overcast, and gloom.

We are finally seeing the spring life pop up, and it definitely gets the motivation up and running.

Austin tells me he is excited about mowing lawns.

Adam tells me he wants to go camping.

Autumn says she likes to watch the birds.

Allie says not much, as usual… but, i know that she would prefer the warm weather, as opposed to cold!

Each of us have our own walks of life throughout the week, and it seems like we have just been doing the repetitious “pattern work,” as they say in aviation, when you take off, stay in the pattern, and come back to land, only to repeat over and over.

We have school, homework, chores, workouts, making the dinner, showers, read books, study, sleep, and then up and at it again.

I really want to create some excitement outside of our “pattern” of a life, but it can’t cost an arm and a leg to do so.

Typically, I like to take an annual vacation with the kids, going somewhere fun, for about 5 days. This year, the goal is to remain out of debt, do things local, and low costing.

It’s a challenge, but I’m working on a list.. The kids will not appreciate my list, but I will make the most of this life with them. For one day, they might just say, I’m so glad my mom made us do the things..

The 2022 activity list so far:

Renaissance Festival in OK

Camping with the grandparents

Hiking to a waterfall, and a picnic (a day trip)

Sight-seeing in our natural state (driving around, getting “lost in the country”)

Visit museums (locally – Indian, downtown Rogers)

Take a day off work and take the kids on a surprise adventure… TBD

We will see how things turn out, but I’m hopeful it will be a grand time!!

This is something that my former mother-in-law would tell me quite often. I appreciate those words, as they are very REAL to me in this chapter of my life.

The kids are growing rapidly, increasing in grade levels, having birthdays, telling me that they know things about everything, and I could go on more and more.

But, these DAYS.. omg.. they are the longest, most drawn out, excruciating, leaving me feeling targeted with everything that can possibly happen.

We have been to the doctor countless times already this year.. and it’s only FEBRUARY.

We went from one kid having COVID, to me having COVID for a 2nd time in a year, to that same kid having strep throat, to another kid having an ear infection.

Not to mention any other minor symptoms that kept them from going to school, for the fear of it being COVID, even though there was a negative test result at home.

Then, we have winter.. winter weather every other week; at least it seems that way.

Transferring one kid from one school to another, and weather hits, then sickness hits. She attended school 5 days so far.. and weather strikes us again.

Then, we have 2 girls that got cramps this week, so they ended up not feeling well over the weekend. One even ended up missing 1 full day of school because of it.

So.. thankful for the flexibility with work, to be able to work at home, when these situations arise.

I kid you not.. hahaha. these days are LONG.

But, oh how precious they are.. For one day, I will look back in awe and wonder.. how did I do all this?

There are some keys to happiness in my life. For without them, I would probably be considered an insane person.

1. COFFEE (THE MAGIC IN A CUP – IT TRULY IS JUST THAT)
2. GYM TIME (PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, GETS BLOOD PUMPING, FEELING ALIVE, AND IN THE ZONE)
3. QUIET TIME AFTER 8:30 (KIDS GO TO BED, I LAY IN BED, REFLECTING ON THE DAY, WATCH SOME TV, READ A BOOK, STUDY FOR FLIGHT SCHOOL)
4. MUSIC (JAMMING TO MY FAVORITE TUNES IN THE CAR)
5. GIRL TIME (DINNER /DRINKS -WHEN I DON’T HAVE TO COOK OR WORRY ABOUT THE KIDS NOT LIKING IT)

The kids are a joy to be around most of the time.

Sometimes though, when I hear fighting, I just can’t help myself, and tell them that they need to learn how to cook and clean when I move out.. hahahahahaha

It’s been a minute since this single mother of 4 has updated the happenings around here.

There’s a few updates in regards to my 13 year old. She expressed interest in changing to a different school in late fall. I was able to get her in, but she changed her mind. Fast forward another month, and she requested again for me to inquire if they still had an opening. They DID! So, I made sure to tell her that there would be no changing of the mind, once we committed to the switch. We made the transition late last week, right when the snowstorm came through. Her first 3 days were virtual. She started in person this week, and is loving it so far. I’m very excited for this journey for her. She loves sketching, and is quite talented. This is an art school, so it’s going to be a good fit for her.

My 16 year old is doing ok, but parent teacher conferences are this week, and it was just brought to my attention that she has outstanding assignments from last week, and essay that she hasn’t done, which was to be written in class. This was news to me and made my heart sink. I had no idea she has been struggling, and now I have to have this face to face conversation about it with her. I know she will shut down and act stressed. I feel terrible. So, that is heavy on my heart at this time.

My 9 year old was diagnosed as a “night owl” a couple of weeks ago at a neurological doctor visit. He has a hard time falling asleep, and ends up waking up not feeling rested. He will sleep in class until around 10am, according to his teacher. The only remedy we are told to try, is consistent bedtime at 8:30pm, and wake up time at 6:00am. No electronics after 6:30pm nightly. No melatonin, as that is an inhibitor for puberty and can cause issues with kids and teens.

My 11 year old, just had an epic birthday party at Modern Mission. It was a huge indoor laser tag facility, and we got to play 40 minutes of games. He invited kids from his old school, as well as his current one. We had about 10 of his friends come. It was so fun for them. I like creating memories with the kids, rather than buying some expensive gift. They will remember the experience much more than the gift anyway.

This life is just like a roller coaster.. never a dull moment, and it does give me thrills.

I love adventures, and parenting is just that.

2021 is behind us now, and I have completely wiped it out of my brain.

We are starting fresh and new, with all things exciting in store for us.

The goals for this year are rather simple.

Staying home, saving more, doing things that matter, making time to live simpler. Decluttering closets, toy bins, dresser drawers, filing those papers or tossing them out if need be, and organizing everything.

This is going to take a chunk of time, but when we are home, and have no other plans, then these should be manageable projects.

The kids will have their responsibilities in this too. I don’t intend on this being a “me” project by any means.

Life is busy, we tend to toss things in the closet or in a pile, only to forget about coming back to it, and doing what needs to be done with it.

Clear space makes for a clearer, sharper mind.

The chores will pick back up for each kid, they will get their $$ each week again, as I know how much they have missed getting their weekly “paychecks.” haha

It’s important to have individual goals, but also to have family goals.

My individual goal this year, is to teach the kids about making a goal for themselves.

What do they want to improve on, explore and become proficient in, or do in 2022.

The month just began, so there is no time like now, to start new, and wipe out the old.

’tis the season to be jolly. for things that the children want, but will not receive.

’tis the season for the electronic free zone to enter our home, but only for 2, as they did something they were told not to.

’tis the season for the children to argue with each other, tell me they’re bored, and refuse to be kind and helpful.

’tis the season for the repeated question “can I have my device back?” everyday of the Christmas break.

It really was ’tis the season, until that final day of school before the break. I got the call from my son’s teacher. He had somehow disabled the school’s wifi security system, so they could not track his online activity. He does not see anything wrong with this action. The school sees things a little differently on this. The librarian, who is the school tech person, was flabbergasted. She had to refer to the school district to get involved, and now we wait for the next steps. Until then, I need to take drastic action with him, so he understands the severity of his actions. He still doesn’t get it. He thinks they are dumb for making this an issue. WOW! He needs to understand that this does have consequences, and he will have to suffer some pain with this. I need him to follow rules, do his school work, and be accountable for both good and bad actions. He is so upset with me, and continually asks me if he can have his devices back. I wrote him a letter, expressing why he cannot have them back. This might avoid the “why” question.. for a few minutes.

I am on the struggle bus in a major way with this situation.

’tis the season…

Here’s a few random thoughts / life events that have happened the past few months, in a recap format:

You know that your child loves you, when they tell you that they are going to be sad for 2 days because no one will be here to cuddle with you. (They are your biggest cuddler).

You know you’re teaching your child right when they want to open doors for you, kiss on you, hug you, tell them they are thankful for you, and want to snuggle close as often as possible.

You know that you are on thin ice with your kid, when you take away electronic devices… they tell you daily that they don’t like you, call you a liar, threaten to not do school work, or love you anymore.

I took the electronics away for some very good reasons. There was a case of some fraudulent charges on my DEBIT card early in the week. There was an attempt to purchase an i-phone 13 through AT&T in TX, and finally, I received a random “gift” of a Webcam from a random address. All of these things are pretty crazy, creepy, and demand action be taken.

I had to get the kids to have a reset anyway, because they have become addicted to the gaming, so much. My youngest would sneak time on his device after being tucked into bed. He would sleep in class until 10am! Of course, I am thinking what is this? I would never see any evidence in his room, that he had his computer in there with him. I was beginning to think he had a sleeping disorder. I took him to the doctor. They have ordered one for him, but I am still waiting on that call. In the meantime, it is confirmed, that he is truly sneaking his computer. ugh! So.. I just simply came home from work one day, so mad. I loaded all the electronics into the car, and took them off the property, so they could not even sneak them anymore. NO temptation. We’re only a few days in, so we’re still in the “I’m mad at you” stage. But, they did get their legos out, and started building towns and things again. I will not complain about stepping on legos! lol

In other news, my oldest is still making it to school everyday, seems to be doing ok. My only goal for her this year, is for her to make it through 11th grade. My girl has been struggling so hard with depression and extreme anxiety. It has taken several adjustments to medications to get her to where she is today. We still aren’t where we need to be ideally, but it’s progress. She’s making it.

My 13 year old wants to go to summer camp again this year, so there are some qualifications she must meet in order to attend. One of those, is 20 hours of community service. We typically volunteer to foster a cat for 2 weeks, so she can get that full credit. She is fully responsible for caring for the cat, during this time. She has been doing pretty good, but I am so fearful to let the kitty roam the full house, so we have her in the den downstairs because it’s hardwood flooring. I covered the couches with sheets, and there’s a door that slides and locks. So, that has been working really well. However, the past couple of days, I have found accidents on the floor. Our 2 weeks is up, and it’s time to return her to the “zoo.” So, we are making arrangements for tomorrow evening. The kitty is super loving, but we just cannot have a kitty cat here to keep. We can only sign up for fostering. I am just worn out from this one though. At least we are doing our part in socializing the kitty, loving on her, and getting her ready for her forever home.

As a parent, I do what I do to hopefully guide my children, in a way, that helps make them into strong, motivated, selfless, and honest individuals. These are characteristics I believe I have in myself, and hope they can identify that in me.

Until they grow up, I can only do my best, hoping it’s enough. Not stressing about tomorrow, because that’s outside of my control.

We are approaching the holidays, and Thanksgiving is this coming week.

I am hosting this year, because I enjoy having family gather, and we haven’t been able to do that in a long time.

The kids and I will have some preparing to do, but I am more excited that we are just able to have down time, enjoying the days without hustling to and from places.

Right now, the kids are at their dad’s, (Except for my oldest, who’s here, but keeps to herself for the most part).

There have been so many things that have occurred over the past several months, I wish I could keep this blog up to date better, but I am also very busy, and things slip, such as this.

My hope for this holiday season for my family, in particular, is that we spend most of our time thinking about others, rather than ourselves.

Try to make something special for someone else.

Whether it’s a homemade gift, a well thought out purchase, or a hand-made card.. We need to bring joy into our hearts, with the gift of giving to someone else.

I am starting with the kids shopping for each other. Each sibling will have to buy for their other 3 siblings. Total of 16 gifts!! But, it’s going to be a fun, bonding type of experience, where they have to think about someone else. What to GIVE someone.

They have become so focused on “self” and what they can get, rather than the true meaning of Christmas. So, I hope they will gain something positive from this season.

We have a busy month ahead with all of the holiday cheer, I want us to experience.

Visiting the Fayetteville Square, getting hot chocolate, listening to the festive music, feeling that chilly air, making our cheeks rosy and bright.

Going to the Journey of Bethlehem in MO, which has become one our favorite traditions. This year, we will be going on a Thursday night! We get a LATE school night, ooh boy!

The next weekend, we will watch Christmas movies, and hopefully finish our shopping for one another.

The next weekend, we will go to a school where they put on a display of the manger and Jesus’ birth. The next night, it’s a company Christmas Party by the lake, and gifts and prizes will be spread around.

The next weekend is Christmas! So much to do before that time!

We will have to forego the Nutcracker this year, only because it falls on nights that we have other plans, and COVID is still present..

Sometimes, we get caught up with our daily routines of busy, that we forget about the little things that really count.

My goal this holiday season, is to really embrace the moments.

Take them in, be present, and hold them tight.

This is a very touchy subject, because the technology days have taken over every aspect of our lives.

We depend on it so much. Even our kids are exposed at such young ages, they get addicted in the blink of an eye.

We, as parents often feel helpless, have lack of control, don’t know the right path of action to take, what is going to make the most sense, help them the most in the long run, and truly make a difference.

The issues I’m currently referring to, is exposure to inappropriate materials. These “ads” pop up randomly, when they are watching something completely non-related to the inappropriate ad. They learn some really bad things by watching these, as they interrupt the main video they selected to watch. How can we get around this?

What can we, as parents do about this?

I am so tempted to completely ban electronics in my house, for many reasons.

I am not sure that is the right course to go on, but I’m leaning really hard in that direction at this very moment.

But, in order to do that, I would need a plan of replacement entertainment fillers. This would especially be crucial for the hour or two they are home while I am at the gym, or still at work. It would have to be something they have interest in, which isn’t much, outside the world of electronics.

How do I reset my children, without “torturing” them? I want them to enjoy life with me, enjoy down time at home, not always having to be entertained with something that has a screen.

Simple times are craved hard over here by ME!! They have no idea what those are like.

So, in my mind, I will continue to ponder my next action, while my children continue to get sucked into these games, and virtual reality..

But, I have a plan.. it just hasn’t come to fruition yet.. in my head… haha

Tomorrow, I meet with a counselor, so will bounce some ideas off of him, with my oldest son present, and maybe we can come to an agreement together that will be feasible for us all.

Because you know the saying.. if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.