The kids have merely been in school ONE full day, and BAM!

Autumn had homework, but supposedly left it at school, and said since she REALLY wants to see this movie on Friday night, and really wants this week to be perfect, she would like to use her “Homework Pass.” I know that her teacher does a reward system with these passes, but I don’t really know if Autumn has one or not.. So, I messaged her teacher. I didn’t get a response last night, so I trusted that she was telling me the truth. I still haven’t heard from her teacher about that, but I went ahead and gave her the
“pass.” I also started reading a chapter from a book per night to the kids. The teachers said they can test on these for their AR goals, and so Autumn took hers today and got an 80%!! yay!

However… this morning, before going to school, Austin told me that Autumn had text one of his friends and said “F-you!” omg!! NO!! This is the last thing I ever expected one of my precious children to EVER do.. crap! I told her that she was going to need to apologize to this kid. It doesn’t matter if she likes him or what she thinks of him, but she needed to do the right thing. I don’t ever want to hear that she talks like this to anyone. I told her that I don’t care what kind of people THEY might be, she needs to always say and do the right things. never be rude or insulting to others. it’s hurtful. (I took her chromebook away, until she apologizes, and in front of Austin, so he can be the witness and report back to me). We’ll see how that goes tonight.

Earlier this morning, when I was waking up Adam, he was half asleep and said he doesn’t like my kisses, and won’t wake up if I continue giving him kisses… say WHAAAT?? I told him that hurt my feelings.. lol little punk. he’s going to be getting MORE kisses… haha

Let’s see what else… Austin tries to negotiate with me on many things. He begs for just ONE more chapter of reading every night. He claims they are just so short, and it’s not taking much time at all to read. He wants more. He also loves sleeping with a fan in his room. I tucked both boys in their respective bunks last night. I leave the room, only to come back a few minutes later, and see that BOTH boys are up on the top bunk, Austin is talking.. Adam is sleeping.. the fan is tilted upward to blow directly on them. Austin even hauled up his king size blanket to sleep with.. But, when Adam woke up this morning, he did mention that Austin hogs the bed, and he doesn’t want him sleeping with him anymore. lol

They all begged me to buy ice cream sandwiches because they’re the BEST!! oh and Gatorade.. so.. guess what this mom did.. she bought both things.. BUT, these are going to be treated as rewards though.. just watch!!

Trying whatever it takes to motivate the kids to make good choices for more than just a day.. can we do it, please??

So.. it’s been a nice 2 week break from school, for the year round kids. 3 of the 4 got to go to Boys & Girls Club for their break, while Allie still had her regular class schedule.

A brief recap of our 2 weeks included all 3 getting in trouble of some sort at BGC. 2 of the 3 were suspended for a few days. One had an accident in their pants, which resulted in needing to be picked up early. Autumn got sick the last week, so she spent 2 days at home with a fever. She enjoyed playing with her birds, but she was so lonely. She would text me throughout the day. No one else in my family was able to help care for her while I was at work, so we did our best with having Aunt April come by and check on her. That worked out perfectly.

We managed through the 2 weeks, but I have to say that I’m pretty excited about the school changing to the traditional calendar. Having to go to BGC ALL day long, while on a break, really isn’t my preferred place for them.

I am making the switch next fall, back to After School Care at their school. It’s been an experience with BGC. They have good intentions, and nice staff, but I do understand that it is more of a youth facility, and not a “daycare.” I kinda think my kids might need the “daycare” atmosphere a bit more than I initially thought when I made the switch. I’m not going to switch them back now, we only have 1 month of school left.. crossing my fingers that nothing else “crazy” happens..

The weekend was great because we spent a night at a hotel, got to swim, have lots of snacks, watch movies, and swim some more.

We also went to visit Gramma & Papa Keith at their campsite at a really nice campground on the lake. While we were there, we made lunch, and had a nice meal with them.

Austin had to go to the bathroom before lunch was ready, so I walked with him to the campground bathrooms. He was in there for 10 minutes.. I finally asked him if we was OK.. he said no.. he needed a change of clothes. So, I went to the car and grabbed some for him, along with some wipes and a walmart bag. He went about his business, taking care of that, and I could hear him whistling in the bathroom.. I chuckled to myself.. he’s soo funny.. A few minutes later, he came out, and acted like everything was great, and he was ready to continue hanging out and having fun. 🙂

At the end of our weekend, Austin really wanted to watch the movie “Detective Peekachoo.” I had a headache yesterday, so I told him I wasn’t sure if I would be able to, but I would think about it. Well, he continued to say, well.. checkout is at noon, and the movie is across the street and starts at 12:05… We didn’t watch it, I needed to get home, and unload the car, do laundry, and prep for school today…

But…. I did tell the kids that if they all have a great week at school, do their homework, and stay out of trouble at BGC all week, we will watch it on Friday night.. Autumn said, we’re not perfect.. I told her I don’t expect perfection, just do what is expected of them, and we will get to see the movie..

Time will tell… 🙂

Until Friday…..

It’s that time…

We, as mothers only hope our children will make the day just a little special.

I know that my kids love me, but I honestly don’t expect them to do anything out of the ordinary for me on their own. They never were taught about this, and I’m not the one who’s going to tell them they have to do something nice for ME on this day. I just haven’t ever been one to make it an issue.

I do remind them that it is Mother’s Day, and they should be nice to me. hahaha

We will spend Saturday night at a hotel, go swimming, have some fun snacks, stay up late and watch movies, all snuggled up in 2 adjoining rooms. 🙂 I do it this way, because we each have a bed, and there can be 2 different movies playing at the same time, we have 2 bathrooms, we don’t crowd each other, and I keep my sanity.

I have connections in the hotel business, so I can get my rooms for trade. I do this every year, and the kids look forward to this so much!

It’s our tradition.. now.. it doesn’t matter when it happens, just that it does.

So, I chose Mother’s Day Weekend for our fun time together.

It’s all about those memories, cherishing the moments, before they pass by, because they will.. and you will never get them back.

Allie is about to finish her chapter of life in Middle School, and move on to High School. My other 3 are still going strong in elementary school, but always growing, and changing.

Hoping all the moms out there feel loved and appreciated this wonderful weekend!!

It’s been a little while, so the title had to include a mix of what has happened over the last week. 🙂

We have had intercession break for 3 of the 4 kids, so they have been going to the BGC during the day, and overall, staying out of trouble. AMAZING!

Allie had her mandatory meeting last night, regarding her upcoming trip to Greece & Italy. It’s about a month away now.. I’m a nervous, but excited mom over here. There’s a few things to make sure we have in order, prior to her leaving, and once those are done, I think I’ll feel better. It’s not a large group going, and one of her chaperones, was her homeroom teacher in 6th grade. We’ve had 2 years to prep for this adventure, and it’s hard to believe we’re so close. This is a huge opportunity for her, as she transitions from middle school to high school. I’m thinking that she will grow a lot this summer, with all she has going on. She will see so many things, and I do expect her to take photos, and give me a detailed recap of her experience.. We’ll see.. 🙂

Autumn was a little unruly last week, so she served some “time” at Grandma Christy’s house, which turned out to be a good thing for her. She learned her lessons, and gained respect for adults and staff at BGC since.. She really can be a loving, sweet, kind, thoughtful, caring, empathetic individual. It’s deep in there.. We just need to get it out more often. I know she’s going through major emotional times, but we just need to focus on the positive, and expect good behavior, and it will come. All in love…

Austin & Adam had good days and I’m so thankful. It’s been quite challenging the last few weeks, with behavior issues. I welcome the break.

This last weekend, we all went to Silver Dollar City, and the weather was absolutely perfect, there were no lines for the roller coasters, and the kids were constantly wanting snacks, candy, and drinks… it’s what you do when you’re at an amusement park though, right?

We’ve had a great time together lately, and it’s really been refreshing.

I’ll take it!!!

I sure hope my kids don’t turn out to be teenage punks.. I have enough on my plate dealing with young punks.. haha

Austin got suspended on Monday from Boys & Girls Club for saying a couple of bad words to a particular kid.. why would he do this? I have never heard him use words like that before, but staff asked 10 kids who were in the room, if he did say those words, and all of them raised their hands. He tells me over and over that he did not say them. But, it’s hard to believe him, since he has lied a few other times about other things.

Adam hit a kid with his lunch box the other day, because they were going to put their things in the same cubby. Adam wouldn’t have it. He took over and claimed it first. He got in trouble for that, but thankfully, not suspended.

Autumn was suspended last week, through most of this week for being mouthy and disrespectful to staff. I didn’t have anywhere else for her to go for the time of the suspension, so my dad (papa) offered to keep her with him at his work, and give her some work to do. This was a great opportunity for her to learn some skills, work hard, have something to be proud of after she accomplished the task at hand. When it came time for Autumn to go with him in the morning, she was lounging on the couch, refusing to get up. Papa finally got her up, and out the door they went. I think he got her in line, but Papa had to take her to Grandma Christy for a while. It was then, that Autumn was talking back to her, giving her the business. I know it’s not going to be a one day fix, but I sure hope we are making headway with her. She’s got to learn to respect adults and not be argumentative constantly.

Intercession is not even halfway through, and I am sure crossing my fingers that these are the only suspensions we encounter for the remainder of the time.

I never thought I would say it, but thankfully, we are switching to the traditional school calendar next fall.

Yesterday was a remarkable day at the school, to say the least.

I had an IEP meeting for Austin, to discuss / review his last 3 years of Speech / Language therapy he had been receiving through the state. He was so fortunate to have the same therapist all 3 years. She got to see him grow from that 4 year old child, who could not verbally connect with others, to an outstanding individual, who is now ranked above average with communication skills. I just love our school, the programs available to our kids, and the care that the people involved in our lives, have for my little tribe.

Austin is graduating today from this program, and part of this celebration, he gets to have a party, and invite 2 friends. He’s so excited, he’s been working hard all week, to make sure he’s caught up with his work, and he’s all smiles when we talk about this achievement. I’m so proud of him.

Another thing, I took him off of his medication early last week. This treats ADHD / anxiety issues. Well, his teacher was part of this meeting, and she saw much improvement in his social skills, participation levels, little arguing when asked to perform a task, and he’s smiling more. I loved hearing this!!! We are going to continue this regiment, and see if it continues also. There was one little thing.. He does have some energy, and can’t seem to sit still. But, we would much rather have that, than a child who isn’t engaging, or lacks much emotion.

When I was in the hallway, waiting on copies of the paperwork, the P.E. Teacher saw me, and wanted to speak to me about Autumn. He said he had good & bad to report. She typically participates in all the activities in P.E. without push back. But, this particular day, she was asking if she could just get “written up and sent home” because she didn’t feel like doing it. She also mentioned that she wasn’t good at the activity. The P.E. teacher told me that he told her, he didn’t feel like being at work today either, but sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do. And, she doesn’t have to be GOOD at this activity, but at least try. It’s just for fun, and no one is REALLY good at it, but we’re just playing. So, she went ahead and tried, and actually did well. So, he pulled her aside afterwards, appreciating her efforts, and complimenting her abilities. She’s definitely having a rough time emotionally lately, but I’m glad to hear that she gave her best when he asked it of her.

After that, I went to meet the counselor and talk about Autumn mainly.. the issue of her being suspended and having major attitude and negative self talk. Quite disturbing..

We talked a lot about family dynamics and the book that I’m reading, how it addresses behaviors from children who have had traumatic experiences. Bottom line, we will be going through the counseling / therapy for a long time, and that’s OK.

With the support of school, family, counseling, and consistency, we will get through this, not only alive, but thriving. I just know it!!!

While it was a great day yesterday, since it was Adam’s 7th Birthday, we still had our daily demands. School, work, karate, homework, etc…

I have to say, when I picked up the kids from BGC yesterday, I was not expecting to hear from the counselors, what I did…

When I got there, Autumn was sitting at the front office, in a chair. She saw me coming, and immediately broke down into tears. I knew it had to be something terrible that happened.

I was called into the office by the manager, and he informed me that Autumn had been suspended.. She was goofing off with Austin, but was being asked by 2 separate staff members to stop. They weren’t fighting, but it wasn’t the right time to be doing that. The BGC new CEO was there that afternoon, and she was misbehaving. She refused to comply with their request, but not only refusing. She was screaming, cursing, calling herself bad names, hating life. Telling them, she wasn’t going to do what they wanted. She told them, she would be doing something else instead. They can’t just let her get away with her disrespecting and disobedient behavior. Other kids will see this, and what kind of example will they be leading? She immediately started apologizing to them when they told her she would be suspended for a week. Too late… But, this is what she does. She is all tough with attitude until the consequences come. I’ve learned this about her.

I signed the document, and we all went to the car, to quickly go home, get ready for karate, and go to class. We literally have about 5 minutes at home to do this exchange. Adam and Allie have to be there by 6. It was 5:15 when we left BGC to head home quickly.

We got home, Autumn was screaming and crying, and telling me she was going to stay home, and not go with us. I told her she WOULD be going, and she didn’t have a choice. We were all going. She went to her room, shut the door, and climbed into her bed. I definitely cannot lift her and physically carry her to the car, so I called my dad.. I wanted to call 911.. ugh.. she is such a challenge right now. I know there is something deeper going on inside of her heart, so I am working on understanding that. In the meantime, we HAVE to go. My dad gets on the phone and talks to her, telling her he’s coming over with a belt. He is going to spank her. She cries more dramatically, and FINALLY gets in the car. She knows she’s in the wrong. She is just pushing the limits…

He is already on our street by this time, and talks to her face to face. She has to understand that she’s the child, I’m the parent, and must be obedient and respectful.

Maybe it will sink in??

I am learning more from the book that I started a couple nights ago.

I picked the kids up from BGC yesterday, after Allie’s counseling appt, which was about an hour later than normal time. Austin was upset because I picked them up past the normal time, and he wasn’t expecting that. Autumn was happy about it, but disappointed I didn’t come even later, as they were in the middle of watching a movie. Adam came out with this very bummed look on his face. He immediately asks me when is his birthday? I told him, it’s tomorrow. He said, ugh.. I don’t want to have to go to sleep, and THEN it’s my birthday.. oh such a hard life.. lol

Last night, Austin needed to take a shower. He’s 8, but still needs help to wash his hair. I was telling him that I can’t help him much longer, because he’s getting so big. He says, well, I can just take baths.. I told him, no way, because when he’s in college, he will want to just take a shower. He then replies, well, when I get to prison, I’ll take a shower by myself. WHAT??!! I said, no you’re not going to prison, but if you did, it’s a community shower, with a bunch of people, and you won’t have an option for a bath. hahaha

Last night, I started something new for our bedtime ritual… I’m tucking the 3 youngest into their beds, I checked out an exciting adventure bedtime story from the library, and am starting to read it to the kids. They have to stay in their beds, and I am sitting in the hallway, reading aloud to them. One chapter per night, is the plan. Well… They were soo excited once I started reading to them. I got to the end of the 1st chapter, and Adam says, please read one more page? I went ahead and read Chapter 2… 🙂 They are now looking forward to our new routine. This first book is “The Boxcar Children,” and Austin already told me, as I read through the first couple of pages, that there’s a movie on Netflix about this… I had no idea.

Anyway, trying to be more relaxed and truly enjoying my children, as I know they will depart from me in just a short while.. the days are long, but the years are short.

Over the weekend, I received a text from the kids’ counselor, letting me know that he thought of a book that might be beneficial for me to check out in regards to the behaviors I have been dealing with lately.

I immediately ordered it on Amazon, and it arrived yesterday.

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children With Severe Behaviors -Heather T. Forbes

I have only started the book, but 3 chapters in, I’ve learned so much about myself, and the way these children operate. They don’t intentionally act in manipulative ways, or get defiant with me just because they want to start an argument. In reality, there is a lot of fear in them, and they are acting out of fear. It’s my duty to show them love and this will help them feel safe, and in turn, act in love.

In my daily routine, it’s chaos.. stress.. loads of responsibility.. gotta keep that schedule, and stay on task. Any little thing that disrupts that, sends me into crazy mommy mode.

So, I know what I need to work on, and it’s helpful that this book also discusses the children and medication… I was one of many out there, who believe these professionals, who claim your child needs to be on medication to solve the problems.. when in reality, it’s only putting a bandaid on the problems, and treating the symptoms.. not getting down to the root of the problem.

I really hope this book will help me parent better, get less stressed over things I cannot control, understand my children better, and truly be able to LOVE and enjoy them at each stage in life.

Life is hard, but parenting doesn’t have to be. right??

We just need the right tools, that help us to be the best us that we can be.

I’m always open to trying different methods, but I am realizing that medication is not the answer for my 8 year old, who is struggling at school with anxiety. We can work through it together. It WILL get better.

Austin actually read aloud to me last night. He refused for the first 30 minutes of trying to convince him, but eventually he gave in, and he read. He is an amazing reader. We are going to try to make this a nightly habit… in addition to everything else we have going on.. But, you must make things intentional, or it won’t happen.

Adam received Student of the week in his classroom. AND he hasn’t pooped his pants in 2 days.. His 7th birthday is tomorrow, and I told him he could have his chromebook back then, if he doesn’t poop his pants.. fingers crossed..

Autumn is trying to do better with her homework, so that’s a win too.

Nothing to report on Allie. she’s always doing as she should… 🙂

It was a lovely weekend with the family. Weather couldn’t have been more perfect, it even felt like it was longer than normal, even though it wasn’t. We spent a lot of time on the deck over the weekend, lit the tiki torches, enjoying the birds chirping, the breeze, and just down time together.

Friday night, we all went out with Papa & Grandma to Red Robin, and the boys LOVED those little electronic devices that are set on each table. They entertained themselves on those, while we waited for our drinks and food. We went bowling after that, and Austin was the winner for the evening. Of course we had the bumpers up for the kids, so they would always get some points. 🙂 Later, the boys stayed the night at Papa’s, and the girls & I went home.

Saturday morning, I had the great idea to schedule all FOUR of the kids eye appointments right after I finished teaching at the gym. Adventure time!!!

Picture this: The girls were having extreme kicking and punching battles in the waiting room, while Adam was wanting to cuddle on my lap, and Austin just sat in his chair, with big smiles. We were waiting for the doctor to call us back, when they said, they wanted to see the girls first, then the boys. I quickly told them that wasn’t a good idea. The girls don’t get along, and the boys get into mischief if unsupervised in an exam room. So, they chose Allie & Adam together and Autumn & Austin. That was just fine. Everything went fairly well. No other fighting occurred. Autumn was a little scared of the “puff” of air that goes into each eye, so they could only get one done. She was questioning that doctor to the nth degree, until she agreed to let Autumn be done with that portion of the exam. (She will push you to the limit, let me tell you). In the meantime, I was coming down with an ocular migraine, and my vision was starting to act up. Since we were there, I went ahead and told the doctor about that, and he thought it was possibly dehydration. YES, that’s it.. I don’t drink enough water, I know that.. ugh.. I need to do better. At that point, I was miserable, and couldn’t wait to get out of there, get home, and lay down.

The kids were very helpful while I was napping, and they just played on their devices. WHICH leads me to this next thing…. Paypal had sent me an email, with all these unidentified charges for itunes.. I knew nothing of them, PLUS I had changed my password and method of payment the previous week, so I was highly concerned that these needed to be disputed immediately. I submitted the disputes today, and they denied them.. ugh.. so, a letter is going in the mail today. In the meantime, I took the funds from Austin’s account, as he was the one on the iphone at the time. Additional passwords and limitations have been set forth as of now.. lessons learned on all sides here.

Today, I received an email from Austin’s teacher that he is refusing to do any classwork of any kind today. I had taken him off of his meds last week, and he was doing this same thing then. If he does this again tomorrow, we will have a conference. He’s already scheduled for an IEP & counseling on Thursday morning. I don’t know what my options are at this point. He’s hit a wall, and we can’t seem to get him to get on track or stay there. He refuses to work for me, read out loud for me, follow simple instructions.. I’m sad about this.

A co-worker came up with this great idea for me to try with the kids at night, after I put them into bed. I could sit in the hallway, reading a chapter book, one per night, and this might help with their evening antics, and get them to focus a little bit before going to bed, maybe gain an interest in reading.. because right now, only 1 of the 4 loves reading, and you know who that is…